SAC Capital Lawyer Forced To School Hapless Rabbi In Ways Of The World

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In his opening statement this week, a lawyer for Milton Balkany, the Rabbi who tried to shake down SAC Capital's Steve Cohen for $4 million, said that his client went after this particular hedge fund manager because he was "Jewish and rich." Since obviously Cohen is not the only person on earth or even in the area with such characteristics, Balkany must have done his homework to figure out that Steve is not just rich but super fucking rich, and chose to go after a big kill rather than some pedestrianly wealthy citizen.

To that end, given that Cohen is extremely well-known on Wall Street but not as famous to the general population as, say, Jamie Dimon or Dick Fuld, one might figure that Balkany's intel went deep. Likes, dislikes, reputation, and just generally, of course, that Steve Cohen = King. Grand High Poobah. Lord High Admiral. Archbishop of Stamford. You get the idea- but apparently Balkany did not, as evidenced in a transcript of a taped phone call that took place last January between SAC's outside counsel, Martin Klotz, and the Rabbi, as part of the sting (SAC immediately went to the authorities after initially hearing from Balkany).

Marin Klotz, a lawyer for SAC: Yeah, and look I hear you and all I can say is I’m the intermediary, I’ll find out whatever I can find out…My client, I can’t control I can just get information from them. I will get back to you as soon as I know more, but...the caveat is I’m gonna be tied up for much of tomorrow, because I’ve got this other guy. Like I said everybody’s under investigation these days and I got another client up there who I have to be sitting holding his hand...tomorrow, so it’s gonna be, you know the afternoon before I get back to the office.

Balkany: Do you think, this evening, or now, that there’s any way of...

Klotz: I can’t reach [SAC in-house counsel Peter] Nussbaum and–you know, look, between you and me, talking to Mr. Cohen is like talking to the president. I, you know, I speak to him, but I don’t—you know, it’s not like I call him up and say, you know, “Hi Steve I need five minutes of your time.” He’s uh, I, I uh, I almost always work through Peter.

Idiot boy! Clearly, Balkany's ignorance and lack of respect here is quite shocking and it's a little more than likely he's earned himself a place on SC's shit-list. Having said that, on the slim chance he's ever granted audience with El Presidente and would like to make it right, we'd suggest opening with something like this:

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