There’s an old saying that goes “write what you know.” When JC Davies was laid off from her job in the fall of 2008, she decided to do just that. Though she had spent nearly a decade as an equity research analyst, first at ING Barings, then Goldman Sachs and finally RIM Securities, what she truly knew, deep within her soul had nothing to do with money or investing. What JC Davies knew was this: dick. And not just white dick but dick of all colors of the rainbow—so much so that you could call her an expert, and she hopes you will.
But let’s backtrack for a moment. As I have said at least once prior, on a daily basis, a whole lot of garbage ends up in my inbox, most of it unsolicited. Sometimes though, on rare occasions, there is the potential for universe-altering gold. Yesterday afternoon, it was this:
Celebrating Chanukah for the first time with a Conservative Jewish family? Worried about being the only Caucasian in a roomful of non-white family members? Concerned that your boisterous Italian family might scare off your new Japanese girlfriend? If you're in an interfaith, interracial, or intercultural relationship, you may just find yourself in one of these awkward situations this holiday season.
Despite an initial reaction to ‘delete immediately,’ a little voice said ‘keep going.’
How can you not let these issues drive a wedge between you and your significant other? And just how accommodating should you have to be? NYC author and blogger J.C. Davies is hitting airwaves and print to discuss these questions. Her new book I GOT THE FEVER (feverbook.com) explores the dynamics -- and often juicy details -- of dating in today's diverse world, especially within five unique cultures: Latino, Asian, Black, Jewish, and Indian.
A former Wall Street professional, J.C. has more than 20 years of experience in studying -- and dating -- men of different cultures.
From there I immediately navigated to Davies’ website, where I was rewarded ten-fold. First off, a little bit about our new favorite penis equal opportunist. None of it is germane to anything but all of it must be read. In her own words:
* “I spent more than a decade managing money and writing stock opinions on Wall Street. After the market downturn of 2008, I began focusing on my other area of expertise: interracial dating. I have more than 20 years of experience dating men of different cultures, including: Latino, Asian, Jewish, Black and Middle Eastern men. I live in Midtown Manhattan with my boyfriend and geriatric cat.”
* “I have over imbibed on occasion, but definitely not a drunk”
* “My father hates it when I say we were poor white trash, but as my mother now admits, we spent way too much time in trailers and homes with outhouses or no electricity to be called anything else.”
* “It took until college that I was found to have several learning disabilities, most of which I can’t pronounce. Afterwards school was much better, but it didn’t mean there wasn’t a lot of, um, misunderstandings. My great aunt announced to the family that I “would never graduate from college because I was a retard!” (Sorry you’re 0 for 2 auntie.) When I told my boss at a big-five accounting firm he said “So what, that means you’re retarded?” I found that it was better not to tell people because they were so generally ignorant about what it means to have a learning disability (aka dyslexia). But now my secret is out and you, my readers now know; but rest assured and let me say it again to put you at ease - I am not retarded!”
* “I like it hot hot hot. I am not sure why, maybe because my father practically raised us on Tabasco, but I have a very healthy love for all things hot. When I order Thai in the city I always say ‘I want it spicy, Thai spicy not white people spicy.’”
* “Most people know me running the city streets in my four-inch high heels, so they would probably never guess that I also have experience running heavy equipment: a backhoe, tractor, skidder, and loader.”
And here is the cover of her book, I Got The Fever:
(How many of those models do you think she worked with during her time on the Street? This thing was self-published so it’s not as though she had a huge budget.)
Obviously, it was ordered immediately. While waiting for Davies’ pearls of wisdom to arrive, I got a preview of what’s in store in the blog section of her site. This is an excerpt from a post entitled “Why I never liked Asian women”
When I started working on Wall Street the only notable Asian woman I knew was nicknamed “Mesohorny” because although she was in an über-conservative Wall Street environment she wore the same style micro-mini skirt with a man-style collared shirt (open as far as it could legally go) every single day. Every. Single. Day.
So until I wrote my book, my relationships with Asian women were few. I saw them as very snobbish. Mesohorny was the worst of the group; she would look right through you like you were nothing. You could talk right to her face and she would ignore you. You could introduce yourself over and over and she would always act like she had never met you. Asian women seemed cold, and aside from Mesohorny, most of them seemed overly conservative and quiet—not really a great combo for a loudmouth like me. And then there was all that submissive crap. It seemed like the men were only with them because they thought they were “submissive." My momma raised me to be strong independent woman. That submissive BS just doesn’t fly with me, so neither did Asian women.
But when I was researching my book I found out that I was pretty much categorically, across-the-board wrong about Asian women. When I understood more about some of the elements of Asian culture everything became clearer. Of particular importance is the high value Asians place on “saving face,” or ensuring that you maintain the highest level of respect, honor, and reputation. And people can lose face in a number of ways that are so subtle that a non-Asian would likely miss them. You can’t do the following, for instance: disagree with the group, make disapproving facial expression, or break even one of millions of etiquette rules for eating, drinking, greeting, or even peeing (okay I made that last one up, but I am sure there a "rules" about that too). This affects Asian life at every level. The reason that Asian women seemed snobby: saving face. The reason they seemed cold: saving face. The reason they were so quiet: saving face. The reason they were so conservative: saving face. The reason my friend cracked under pressure and eventually thought she was Christ himself: saving face.
So what does that mean for interracial daters? It may take longer to really get to know your Asian guy or gal. It may also take a while to get “buy-in” from relatives or to truly feel comfortable dealing with some Asian cultural norms. Don’t expect your Asian woman to be a doormat or your Asian man to be a tyrant. Be mindful of some of the Asian cultural norms and always realize there is a lot more to any Asian person than just their “face.”
From a post entitled: “Filipino Players, Latinas & Vienna Sausages”
Umm, yeah the “Asians have small dicks” thing is out there and people make it sound so extreme like Asian men are sporting a Vienna sausage or something. When researching my book both women and men said Asians were, in general, average to slightly below average. That stereotype is still out there, but I think that is not Latin women specific. Just ignore that BS.
And one called “Interracial Cougar Fever”
When I started this blog a few months ago I targeted it to women. But guess who wrote in first (with a few exceptions)? Young twenty-something men, mostly brothers and Asians. I still get e-mails, IMs, Wall posts, and Twitters, all from guys who could (dare I say) numerically are young enough to be my own children. And it’s not just online. At the Shag Paper Party last week, (See my Facebook page for awesome pics.) I had a young brother who couldn’t be more than 25 years old hard selling me on what he had to offer an older woman like myself. (Hey buddy, thanks for calling me “old” by the way) Then I started to realize that it’s not just me.
We old broads look better than previous generations. Hell, because of the obesity epidemic, a lot of us old broads look better than the younger generation too. So why Cougar Fever? Because we still got it baby! So why this rash of “interracial” Cougar Fever? I think that if you are open to older women, you are more likely to be open to different races as well. So women: count your cubs as a blessing, not a curse; and put them to work making you happy!
Naturally, I will be requesting an interview with this woman. Assuming she says yes, what questions would you like me to ask on your behalves?
Finally, given that it is a company that very vocally prides itself on diversity (and whose talent pool probably gave Davies' her first real taste), I think it would be nice for Goldman to invite JC to give a lecture (followed by a Happy Hour in her honor).
I Got The Fever [Author Website]