Never Learned How To Tie A Tie? UBS Has Got Your Back

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UBS has issued a 44-page dress code to employees. Unfortunately, our French is a bit rusty so beyond telling female employees to wear pearl necklaces and scarves and men to wear shirts, it's unclear what exactly they're saying or if removing one's cock ring before work is a Do or a Don't. One thing that is helpful, if you've somehow managed to obtain and hold a job on Wall Street (and or made it past your 13th birthday) without ever learning to tie a tie? This handy how-to guide:

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