Jamie Dimon Will Scratch The Eyes Out Of The Next Journalist To Paint All Bankers With The Same Brush

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Earlier this week in Davos, Jamie Dimon said that when his and other banks are asked to comply with 'irrational regulation,' the sensation feels a lot like taking it in the ass. Which is to say, he doesn't like it. His dislike for the figurative equivalent of anal rape, however, pales in comparison to what he feels for idiot reporters who think everyone on Wall Street is the same, i.e. reckless, greedy and responsible for taking down the economy with their bare hands. JPMorgan and its commander and chief couldn't be more different than the fuck-ups at places like, say, Lehman Brothers and Bear Stearns (and Citi). Just because they're in the same industry doesn't mean they're the same. One ignorant twit at Davos panel entitled “The Next Shock, Are We Better Prepared?” was unaware of the distinction; and after asking the JPMorgan chief about what he thought of "Americans who had directed their anger against the banks for the bailout" was offered an explanation a media person could understand.

Dimon visibly turned more animated, replying that “it’s not fair to lump all banks together.” The TARP program was forced on some banks, and not all of them needed it, he said. A number of banks helped stabilize things, noting that his bank bought the failed Bear Stearns. The idea that all banks would have failed without government intervention isn’t right, he said defensively. “I don’t lump all media together….There’s good and there’s bad. There’s irresponsible and ignorant and there’s really smart media. Well, not all bankers are the same."

Clearly "aggrieved by the question," he went on.

"I just think this constant refrain [of] ‘bankers, bankers, bankers,’ - it’s just a really unproductive and unfair way of treating people….People should just stop doing that.”

Everybody clear? Or do we need some diagrams?

Dimon's Davos Cry [Barron's via Daily Intel]

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His Trophy Case Full, Jamie Dimon Leaves Competitive Dancing To The Rest Of The Family

[caption id="attachment_73269" align="alignright" width="260" caption="People who *can* dance"][/caption] There are a lot of things Jamie Dimon is very, very good at: building a fortress balance sheet, chatting up reporters in elevators, doing sake bombs, and being appreciably better looking than his peers, to name just a few. In other areas, the JPMorgan CEO has left room for improvement. For example, his dancing skills, about which Dimon's own wife and mother are unsparing in their directness at this point. JPMorgan Chief Executive Officer Jamie Dimon “is a terrible dancer,” his wife, Judy Dimon, said last night at a gala for Ballet Hispanico, of which JPMorgan was the lead sponsor. She then moved her shoulders straight up and down to demonstrate what the 56 year-old leader of the biggest US bank, with $2.27 trillion of assets at year-end, does on the dance floor. Jame Dimon's mom, Themis Dimon, was no more encouraging. Is he a good dancer? "No," she said, shaking her head. Jamie Dimon wasn't present to prove otherwise. “Unfortunately he couldn’t be here tonight because he had another commitment,” said his wife, a Ballet Hispanico board member and the event’s honorary chairman. Too bad. Jamie Dimon missed a good party. His wife, in a slim-fitting coral gown, danced a salsa with New York Giants wide receiver Victor Cruz, reminiscent of his moves in the end zone after scoring a touchdown. Speaking of people who can hold their own on the dance floor? “We like to dance,” Jamie Dimon's father Theodore Dimon, there with his wife and Jamie's twin brother, told Bloomberg. “We dance the fox trot -- it’s nice and easy.” Scene Last Night: Victor Cruz, Dimon for Ballet Hispanico [Bloomberg]