For those of you who failed to mark it down on your calendars, please be advised that today is Vikram Pandit's birthday (his 54th to be exact). Normally we'd tell you to drop what you're doing and pick up something for him A-SAP but this year we'd advise you to go the no presents route. Not because Vickles is one of those faux modest jerks who says "no gifts, just your company" while not really meaning it but because we can say with absolute certainty that you will not top the gift to end all gifts Vikula is already poised to receive. Dick Parsons, if you'll do the honors.
That's right everyone. This is finally happening. And that's not all. In addition to living every CEO's dream, the day Vikram will "make more than $1 a year" is so close he can taste it. If you absolutely must give him something, consider an item that will commemorate this historic occasion, like a hoodie with the words "Big Baller" stitched on the back or a motorcycle with a "Fuck You" license plate.