Bonus Watch '11: UBS Management Is Throwing A Party To Celebrate Bonus Day
While it's not yet clear if people will be in a celebratory mood, UBS has just invited to New York and Stamford staff to get down in honor of bonus day.
"Numbers hitting. No base changes in equities, down 25pct from last year. Management just sent a note out that says "communication day receptions" for Securities employees in NYC and in Stamford."
"Mood is, who wants to drink with the people who screwed this bank up?"
Now this doesn't strike us necessarily fair- true, the concept of a "communication day reception" seem a bit odd and potentially salt in the wound-esque but let's just wait and see what they've got planned before we judge. Maybe there'll be an open bar. Maybe there'll be a dunk tank. Maybe they'll have every kind of chip you could ever want. Maybe Oswald Grübel and the board are going to dress up like Toblerone bars and do a choreographed dance. Maybe, once everyone assembles in the lobby, they're going to announce a field trip to Beamers. And what will you say then? You'll say thank you, UBS, this was very generous of you and I feel bad for being preemptively ungrateful! if you can speak with the scantily clad ass in your mouth. Think positive!
