Skip to main content

Bonus Watch '11: UBS Management Is Throwing A Party To Celebrate Bonus Day

  • Author:
  • Updated:

While it's not yet clear if people will be in a celebratory mood, UBS has just invited to New York and Stamford staff to get down in honor of bonus day.

"Numbers hitting. No base changes in equities, down 25pct from last year. Management just sent a note out that says "communication day receptions" for Securities employees in NYC and in Stamford."

"Mood is, who wants to drink with the people who screwed this bank up?"

Now this doesn't strike us necessarily fair- true, the concept of a "communication day reception" seem a bit odd and potentially salt in the wound-esque but let's just wait and see what they've got planned before we judge. Maybe there'll be an open bar. Maybe there'll be a dunk tank. Maybe they'll have every kind of chip you could ever want. Maybe Oswald Grübel and the board are going to dress up like Toblerone bars and do a choreographed dance. Maybe, once everyone assembles in the lobby, they're going to announce a field trip to Beamers. And what will you say then? You'll say thank you, UBS, this was very generous of you and I feel bad for being preemptively ungrateful! if you can speak with the scantily clad ass in your mouth. Think positive!

Related: Beamers Cafe: “Not Some Fly By Night Organization”


Bonus Watch '12: UBS

Numbers for first and second year analysts (who are not happy). "It's been two weeks since UBS numbers came out and nobody wants to talk about it, for obvious reasons. Second years (base: 80k) ranging 45-65k and heard of some first years getting around 40k (base: 70k). And they could only achieve these numbers ("in line with the street") after firing 30+ analysts right before communication day."

Bonus Watch '13: UBS

From the front lines:

Bonus Watch '13: UBS

Not everyone received a package that resulted in a nice long cry. Andrea Orcel, for example, did pretty okay for himself.