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Jamie Dimon Ruins The Dream

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Like most of you, we like our Jamie Dimon right where we can see him- in our direct line of vision, running JPMorgan, sticking up for banks, going on dates with Lloyd and just being his generally passionate boy-toy CEO self. We can't imagine JPMorgan without him and don't want to. In fact, there's only one other position we'd rather see him in, and that's running his own bar 'n grill. Unlike most fantasies, this isn't one we conjured up with ourselves but rather one that actually came from JD, via his wife, who said a couple years back that one dream of her husband's was to "open his own restaurant and turning himself into Sam Malone of Cheers." All we did was flesh the thing out, by picking a venue (the basement of the old Bear Stearns building) and coming up with some fun gimmicks, like $2 dollar shot night. Well, apparently we can put our plans on ice, because today our dream was shattered and not gently.

Dimon, a Democrat, also downplayed persistent speculation he might leave JPMorgan to go into the political arena.

"I love what I do. I want to be here. I want to stay," he said. "I'm not going into politics and I'm not opening a restaurant."

Whatever. Like we care.

Dimon: I'm Staying Put And Bank Is Expanding [NYT]


Jamie Dimon (Sort Of) Returns Tom Brady's Favor

Back in October, the most wonderful aspect of the JPMorgan Whale Tale emerged in the pages of Vanity Fair: the day Vice-Chairman Jimmy Lee barricaded himself in his office determined to come up with a way to help Jamie Dimon, and after hours of thinking real hard, summoned his six secretaries and told them they had a job to do, which was getting Tom Brady on the horn so he could deliver a pep talk sure to cheer up the boss. Was the call kind of awkward, considering the two had never spoken and Brady's lack of useful investment ideas likely meant his big speech involved not much more than  "Even Super Bowl champion quarterbacks have bad days" and "Keep your chin up out there?" Probably. And yet some sort of bond was clearly forged, which would explain why Dimon felt compelled to throw Brady this bone: