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Lloyd Blankfein Wasn't The Only One Getting Down To 'Poker Face' This Week

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Steve Cohen apparently also enjoyed himself some Gaga at the Garden, until the incompetents staffing the place nearly made him the victim of identity theft.

"My buddy was at the Lady Gaga concert the other night; put his credit card down and they ended up giving him back Cohen's card and ID. He was calling up SAC to tell him he had the card and they finally sent a courier to come get it, after they interrogated him like was KSM."

As they well should. Let's not even speculate as to what happened to the guy who mixed up the cards.


New York Times Finds A Weird Way To Kick Steve Cohen When He's Down

As you may have heard, things have not been going tremendously well for Steve Cohen of late. Two days before Thanksgiving, the government went public with its case against a former SAC Capital employee, Mathew Martoma, who it accused of masterminding the largest insider trading scheme ever. Cohen was neither charged nor mentioned by name in the criminal complaint, but he did make an appearance playing the role of "Portfolio Manager A," a part we have previously mentioned one does not want to portray, if it can be avoided. Then on Wednesday, it was disclosed that SAC had received a Wells notice, indicative of the SEC's plan to sue the fund and if that wasn't enough, sources also claimed investigators are considering naming Cohen personally in the suit, to boot. So things are not exactly going his way right now and what he could really use is a break. The government dropping all charges against Martoma and publicly stating it will stay out of the Big Guy's business forever starting right this second seems out of the question but even some small act of kindness would probably help. Allowing him to pass you on 95. Telling him he looks nice today. Asking, "Have you been working out?" Sending him humorous YouTube videos with a sweet note like, "Hang in there, bud. You're in my thoughts..." On the flip side, you know what he doesn't need? Wildly libelous claims that it's going to take a lot more than a "Correction" to forgive.