Dealbreaker NCAA Tournament Challenge: An Update And An Important Announcement

Author:
Bess Levin
Updated:
Jan 14, 2019
Original:
Mar 28, 2011

Pool Manager NakedShort has a few things to say.

"FX Fox has taken over first place with 82 points and has Kentucky winning it all. Three people are tied for second with 76 points; 2 of them have UConn and one has Kansas for the win.
Thank you to all that submitted a bracket; hopefully it's been fun. Thanks also to the Jayhawks who continue to find new and exciting ways to deliver their patent-pending March choke job.
And now, allow me a moment to get personal.
While I will finish out my duties as pool manager, I'm done with college basketball. Seriously, I quit. And I mean it.** Unlike used and abused Bills fans who constantly claim they quit but still get worked up to the point of tears when you call the team the Toronto Bills. The same group that "doesn't care" anymore but somehow a minimum of 2 Bills players end up on their Fantasy Football Team because they're "good players."
I'm done.
*Until March 15th, 2012.

Some stats and a hidden camera video from Pool Manager NakedShort: "We've got a new leader this week: regrets to "Golden West" and "Mike Courtney," who were knocked out of the first place position and congrats to "Does This Marker Smell Funny," with 98 points. Some other top performer stats include one guy in second with 96 points, one guy in third with 95 points, and one lady ("bankr chick") in fourth with 93 points. "ABCDEF" ended the weekend with 92 points and a fifth place finish but will be ultimately fucked by North Carolina, who he chose to win it all. "ILuvMatt" is in a 17-way tie for 12th, while the real Matt is in 12th-to-last place. If you picked UNC or Syracuse for the title, I've got four words for you."

Some stats and a message about life from Pool Manager NakedShort: "We currently have two overall leader, with 50 points. Congrats to "Golden West" and "Mike Courtney," who had nice opening weekends." Some other top performer stats: 4 people are tied with 49 points 8 are at 48 (1 unlucky entrant picked Missouri to win) 7 are at 47 (Missouri and Duke each fucked one of you) 12 are at 46 (none of you picked any current losers!) "iluvmatt" is leading the 44s The remaining 800 or so are frankly are horrible and should stop watching basketball entirely. For those unlucky souls who had their winner lose this weekend, turn up the speakers and join us in a good cry.

This is Pool Manager NakedShort, signing off until next year: "Tied for first are 'HeyConnah' and 'Shawn S.' Both have Kansas winning, while HeyConnah predicts a final aggregate score of 125 and Shawn S puts it at 128. If Kentucky prevails tonight, 'Benjamin W.' will be the new owner of, among other things, some awesome swag; he has Kentucky winning it all and is currently in sole possession of second place. On a personal note, I've been a huge KU fan my entire life and I am a little (a lot) pissy about there being no possible way for me-- currently tied for 7th-- to win. What I'm saying is..." "KANSAS OWES ME AT LEAST A TITLE to compensate for the fact that I will not be taking home the DBNCAATC trophy. That said, it's probably for the best: the last time I won a bracket pool and KU won the title in the same night I got so drunk I blacked out and according to my wife, came into the bedroom and yelled 'Fuck You Roy (Williams),' before vomiting all over the area rug and passing out. Needless to say she was not a happy camper cleaning the mess while being 5 months pregnant. Good luck to our leaders and may the odds be forever in your favor."

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