Tokyo-Based Investment Banker Announces Plans To Haze Colleagues Who Evacuated After The Earthquake

Author:
Updated:
Original:

Are you the employee of an investment bank with offices in Japan? Last week, after the biggest earthquake in nearly a hundred years occurred, which was just the start of the fun, did you try and get out of a country that might be on the precipice of a nuclear meltdown? Which is to say, did you act like a total pussy? We have a message from one of your colleagues. He wants you to know that there's no reason to worry about being "ostracized" for leaving. Such a thing would be patently ridiculous. Having said that, you are all a bunch of pansies who will be reminded of that fact as soon as you return.

One foreign investment banker in Tokyo says he wasn't surprised that so many employees left. "We don't hire people into the financial industry to risk their lives—this is investment banking and we hire investment-banker types," he said. "We are trying to avoid ostracism for those who come back—there is no upside in that—but there is good-natured hazing."

Does this sound like someone you work with? If so, can you let us know if the "good-natured hazing" is something along the lines of being forced to get down on your knees in a $3,000 suit while listening to Cher's "Do you believe in life after love" for every minute you were out of the country or more like being forced to press your head against one of those nuclear reactors for the same period of time?

Ex-Pats In Japan Tiptoe Back To Work [WSJ]

Related

Layoffs Watch '12: Investment Bankers, Everywhere

Gird your loins. Having already slashed bonuses, banks including Citigroup, Goldman Sachs, J.P. Morgan Chase, Morgan Stanley, are preparing to cut dozens of jobs, including some held by senior bankers, according to people familiar with the matter. As they pursue this targeted round of trims as soon as next month, they and rivals are also revisiting profit expectations for their advisory businesses, people familiar with the matter said. Until recently, Wall Street's ax had largely fallen on trading desks, which shed thousands of jobs as business dried up due to regulations and lackluster markets. But the cost-cutting focus is now expanding to deal makers and corporate advisers that have remained among Wall Street's most high-profile professionals even as their contributions to banks' bottom line has been dwarfed by traders. In addition to mergers-and-acquisitions advisory, investment banking includes raising capital through stock and debt. Wall Street Gets Lean [WSJ]