Twenty-Something New Yorkers No Longer Interested In Sex, Declares Reporter Whose Theory Is Backed Up By Hedge Fund Employee

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Recently, a reporter for the Observer went to a few bars and attended what can be called parties under the loosest definition of the term 'party' ("A girl sitting next to a Harvard M.B.A. student looked through a coffee table book of Todd Selby’s photography. There was a conversation going on about Twitter."). No one had sex in front of him and so he has naturally decided that twenty-something professionals in New York are no longer interested in fornicating. A bunch of sources interviewed for the story who are not having sex, they say by choice, cite several factors for the 'careerists,' male and female, no longer caring about getting laid.

1. Cocaine: "Cocaine is again going around, and everyone would rather stay up doing it than going to bed." True, as a stimulant, coke usage does not make one want to sleep but "going to bed" with someone, in the context of a conversation about sex, does not generally have anything to do with sleeping. Also! Coke is known to make people want to fuck.

2. Cab rides: "Cab rides from downtown back to Bushwick with a potential paramour ruin the mood and are best avoided." Some people are of the opinion that making out in cabs is one of the great pleasures in life. Also- are people not allowed to live in Manhattan anymore?

3. Sense: “New York is too dense; you’re running into people all the time, everyone knows everyone,” said a male consultant in his mid-20s. “Sex just doesn’t make sense—it’s dirty.” This is a thing that needs to 'make sense'? Also- dirty how? In a way an 8 year-old thinks the genders of the opposite sex are "gross"? As in actually dirty? In which case do you have access to a shower? As in STD dirty? Do you only go out to bars where there's some level of assurance everyone there has the clap?

4. No time: “My hours are so fucking absurd,” an office production assistant on the film told The Observer. “I work a minimum 12 hours a day and up to 14 or 16, and you don’t have time to bring anyone into the equation. If having sex with someone won’t fit in your schedule, it’s just not gonna happen.” Can't spare 20 minutes?

5. Social Networking: "But the most prominent cause for the shift is the way the codes of online interaction has been transferred to the mores of New York socializing...Sex is antithetical to the way they socialize, disruptive to the larger plan, a gateway to chaos in a digitally ordered world." What...?

According to one model interviewed, "Capitalism has replaced sex." And "a young man who works at a hedge fund" agrees with the entire premise. “Twenty-somethings are wary of sex,” he said. “It’s not 1998.” Please help us understand what that means. Is it that:

a) people only have sex during dot com bubbles?

b) people only have sex when interest rates are low?

c) people only have sex thirty years after the sexual revolution?

d) "This isn't 1998" as in this isn't the year in which today's twenty-somethings were in their sluttiest, gang-bang obsessed 13 year-old prime, a time and place impossible to top?

e) write-in

Sexless And The City [NYO via BI]

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