As you may have heard, this weekend is Berkshire Hathaway's annual shareholder meeting. As he has in the past, CEO Warren Buffett will speak at length, and unlike time's past, this year's talk will include at least one awkward topic, that being the David Sokol/Lubrizol incident. We previously came up with a bunch of WB-esque words he could offer that would get him back in everyone's good graces, including but not limited to:
“While nothing illegal went down on Berkshire’s watch, what David did is not the way we expect people to conduct themselves and it certainly left a bad taste in everyone’s mouth. Not unlike what I imagine would be the result of some boyhood experimentation on the farm and a cow with some funky tasting spunk.”
According to Andrew Ross Sorkin, who will be at the meeting, if Buffett wants to make things cool with shareholders, he can't just say he was disappointed in David Sokol but that he was disappointed in himself.
It's possible (though highly unlikely) that ARS and I are wrong. If you're a Berkshire Hathaway shareholder, what would get you to decide the whole thing is water under the bridge? Is it a mea culpa or something else? As Buffett may not have found the words himself, perhaps you should just tell him what you want. A walking tour of his favorite whorehouse? His butler services for one year? An all-access pass to walk into any Dairy Queen across the country and stick your mouth under the soft serve machine without getting shit for it?