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Bank Of America Has Bigger Problems Than Analysts For Whom A $2 Billion Profit Isn't Good Enough

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Earlier today, Bank of America reported a $2.05 billion profit, a thirty-six percent drop from the first quarter of 2010. Still, as this represented the first time the bank had made money in three quarters, those in Charlotte felt pretty good about themselves this morning and hoped analysts and the market would give them props for a job relatively well done. Baby steps and all that jazz. Instead, all BofA heard was how it didn't live up to anyone's expectations and its stock took a kick in the pants. Despite the fact the bank has said itself by way of "Project New BAC," wherein first year analysts have been asked "why don't you tell us" how to turn a profit, that it needs a timeout from being as harshly judged as other firms and valued by the numbers, it was all "you've disappointed us this" and "why can't you be more like JPMorgan" that. And apparently profit isn't the only thing on which people won't get of Moynihan and Co's back about.

From an analyst who shall remain nameless but is apparently taking careful notes:

"Proper grammar is not a priority at BAC. Around 1hr and 1min into this morning's earnings call, the phrase "most riskiest" was used to describe home equity loans.


Bank Of America Hoping To Fire Thousands Of Employees In Record Time

Remember Project New BAC, i.e. Bank of America's plan to transform itself from Ken Lewis's house of fun, where everyone went home happy but the concept of making money was less of a focus than keeping the good times coming, to an institution that did things like post profits? The bank has said previously that PNBAC "will result in $8 billion in annual savings by 2015—$5 billion from the first phase and $3 billion from a second phase" and while it stands by those figures and remains committed to cutting as many employees as it takes, some people would like them to be a bit snappier about it. Bank of America is accelerating a broad cost-cutting plan and has set a target of shedding 16,000 jobs by year's end—cuts that would see the company relinquish its title as U.S. banking's largest employer. The proposed year-end total of 260,000 would be the lowest count since 2008 and likely give Bank of America a smaller workforce than JPMorgan Chase, Citigroup, or Wells Fargo...Chief Executive Brian Moynihan is trying to speed the company's transformation into a smaller and more efficient operation as he tries to persuade investors that expenses can be adjusted to compensate for revenue lost to new regulations, an uneven economy and shaky markets. Since becoming CEO in 2010, he has shifted away from a nationwide expansion strategy embraced by his predecessors Hugh L. McColl Jr. and Kenneth D. Lewis, and shed many of the businesses that he considers to be nonessential...Hitting the new staffing target would fulfill a year early Mr. Moynihan's pledge to slash the bank's workforce by approximately 30,000. "If they want to make any headway toward improving profitability," said Sterne Agee & Leach Inc. senior banking analyst Todd Hagerman, "they need to accelerate the timeline." Bank Of America Ramps Up Job Cuts [WSJ]

Eighth Grader Isn't Letting Brian Moynihan Off That Easy

Natalie Clarke asked Mr. Moynihan a question and god damn it, she's going to hold his feet to the fire until she gets an answer.

Bonus Watch '15: Bank of America CEOs

Bri Moy is running a little low on cash these days.