Two weeks ago a London-based banker wrote to the Financial Times seeking help with a problem related to her hotness.
I know that you will think this problem is mad, but I fear I’m too good looking for corporate life. As a student I used my looks to make money modelling, but now that I’m in the City I feel they are holding me back. Female colleagues distrust me, while male colleagues are drawn to me, but don’t take me very seriously. My boss has told me that I need to network more. But I find networking events are ghastly, with all the eager men dribbling over me. What can I do, short of turning up to work in a bin liner? - Banker, female, 27
Many of you offered her advice. Today the FT has responded with their own, telling the girl 1) shut up 2) get over it 3) it's true that "women don't like you, men like you too much" and 4) you won't be hot forever.
Sayeth columnist Lucy Kellaway:
I don’t think the problem is mad, but I do think it’s bad. Bad form, that is. When you have something that others want, it’s poor manners to complain about it...By publicising your “problem”, you make things worse. Not only do people fail to take you seriously, they fail to like you even the slightest bit...I daresay you’re right: other women don’t like you, men like you too much. Both sexes will assume that you are cold, vain and screwed up – just as the classic beautiful person is supposed to be. The only hope of counteracting this is to be as friendly and normal as you can and stop worrying about whether people take you seriously. I’ve never seen what is so good about being taken seriously anyway.
W.B. Yeats wrote a poem for a woman who sounds a bit like you: she worried that men loved her for her golden tresses and not for herself. He concludes: “That only God, my dear/Could love you for yourself alone/And not your yellow hair.” I think Yeats missed a trick here: he forgot that hair grows grey in time. Beauty doesn’t last. You will lose yours one day, possibly even quite soon. Will you be happy then?