Dunkin IPO Offers Golden Opportunity For Eating Challenge Failures To Redeem Themselves

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Recently around these parts, we've been getting some complaints about how it's been far too long since we've chronicled a food eating challenge and a demand for answers. Here's the rub:

The very first time we wrote about a Food Eating Challenge (FEC), it was a a postmortem congratulations to a man named Oyster Boy. He’d consumed 244 oysters in 1 hour at Ulysses and he’d thrown the gauntlet down for one of you to pick up, vis-a-vis goring yourself for sport. We continued to chronicle them for reasons that don’t take Wall Street’s greatest minds to figure out: they’re fun and if they’re not mentioned on this here site well, it’s like they never happened. We are also big believers in positive reinforcement, and on the rare occasions in which you people actually succeed at completing the task at hand, we like to give you props (alternatively, we believe in the value of telling you that you suck and sicken us when you fail, because we care). Mostly, though it’s because they’re just fun. It’s fun to watch you gorge yourself for sport, and it’s fun for your colleagues to offer obnoxious running commentary throughout the event, especially so for that one massive jackass (you know who you are, and let me just say, you get it).

Having said that, you know what's not fun? Being told so and so at such and such firm is about to attempt consuming two Munchkins in two hours, or something similarly easy and in no way a challenge. What's worse is when he or she fails to do even that. So we said no more to covering these non-challenge challenges, to save you and ourselves from the embarrassment, secondhand and otherwise. Today, however, brings a shot at redemption you don't want to pass by.

According to CNBC's Kate Kelly, Dunkin' Brands is planning an IPO for this summer. Could there be a better way to celebrate the event than a serious food eating challenge comprised of the items sold by DD? The answer is no, there couldn't. As the underwriters of the deal, JPMorgan and Barclays should be the ones to step up to the plate but we're happy to open the field to anyone who wants to participate, be it with an IPO day FEC or one sooner, as a pump up to the offering. Initial ideas that come include consuming ten dozen Munchkins in 30 minutes or the one of every single item on the breakfast menu, including donuts, coffee and sandwiches in 90 minutes but feel free to get creative.

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