Dunkin IPO Offers Golden Opportunity For Eating Challenge Failures To Redeem Themselves

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Recently around these parts, we've been getting some complaints about how it's been far too long since we've chronicled a food eating challenge and a demand for answers. Here's the rub:

The very first time we wrote about a Food Eating Challenge (FEC), it was a a postmortem congratulations to a man named Oyster Boy. He’d consumed 244 oysters in 1 hour at Ulysses and he’d thrown the gauntlet down for one of you to pick up, vis-a-vis goring yourself for sport. We continued to chronicle them for reasons that don’t take Wall Street’s greatest minds to figure out: they’re fun and if they’re not mentioned on this here site well, it’s like they never happened. We are also big believers in positive reinforcement, and on the rare occasions in which you people actually succeed at completing the task at hand, we like to give you props (alternatively, we believe in the value of telling you that you suck and sicken us when you fail, because we care). Mostly, though it’s because they’re just fun. It’s fun to watch you gorge yourself for sport, and it’s fun for your colleagues to offer obnoxious running commentary throughout the event, especially so for that one massive jackass (you know who you are, and let me just say, you get it).

Having said that, you know what's not fun? Being told so and so at such and such firm is about to attempt consuming two Munchkins in two hours, or something similarly easy and in no way a challenge. What's worse is when he or she fails to do even that. So we said no more to covering these non-challenge challenges, to save you and ourselves from the embarrassment, secondhand and otherwise. Today, however, brings a shot at redemption you don't want to pass by.

According to CNBC's Kate Kelly, Dunkin' Brands is planning an IPO for this summer. Could there be a better way to celebrate the event than a serious food eating challenge comprised of the items sold by DD? The answer is no, there couldn't. As the underwriters of the deal, JPMorgan and Barclays should be the ones to step up to the plate but we're happy to open the field to anyone who wants to participate, be it with an IPO day FEC or one sooner, as a pump up to the offering. Initial ideas that come include consuming ten dozen Munchkins in 30 minutes or the one of every single item on the breakfast menu, including donuts, coffee and sandwiches in 90 minutes but feel free to get creative.

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First Food Eating Challenge Of 2013: Underway

It's another vending machine challenge and you know how we feel about those (too much time, not enough food, doesn't put hair on anyone's chest) BUT it does involve a contract (described as "amazing" by the half of Dealbreaker that was at one time licensed to practice law in New York), the terms of which state that in the event of a loss, the loser will pay for a lunch he's not invited to, so we've got award points for that.

Does Your Next Food Eating Challenge Involve Binge Drinking Herbalife's Formula 1 Nutrition Shake?

As many of you know, around these parts we are constantly debating the merits of various financial services employees' food eating challenges. Historically, we've detracted points for allowing the participants far too much time to complete the task at hand (opening bell to close, might as well just make it limitless), an insufficient volume of food (a box of Munchkins, considered by many to be a snack), and lack of originality (vending machine challenges have been done). On the flip side, we've applauded creativity (an investment banker and 500 Starburst enter a room and there's a webcam involved),* obscene amounts of food and enough sugar to cause hyperglycemia (244 oysters, a cupcake of death), and topicality (the delicacy that is the Sausage Pancake Bite: yes! Double Downs: double yes!). Which brings us to this: the Herbalife Food Eating Challenge. New York Observer reporter Patrick Clark noticed that while the Herbalife story has been covered by many an angle so far (the blood-sucking pyramid scheme angle, the grandma angle, the Dan Loeb/UWS hedge fund manager on UWS hedge fund manager angle), the most important angle of all had yet to be explored: the actual ingesting of this stuff angle.

Food Eating Challenge Of The Day: "It's Not Clear What's Going On In His Mind And Body"

As you all are well aware, from time to time we cover food eating challenges around these parts. We don't chronicle all the feats of gastrointestinal fortitude that come our way, though, because while we love you all, not all of your FECs constitute what we'd consider an actual challenge worth covering. As previously discussed, our high bar has everything to do with the first contest we ever wrote about (as a postmortem), which involved a man named Oyster Boy, who consumed 244 oysters in 1 hour at Ulysses, throwing down the gauntlet down for one of you to pick up, vis-à-vis goring yourself for sport. Do we really expect anyone to match OB in magnitude or strength of stomach lining? No, we do not. Having said that, "challenges" such as eating 8 vending machine items in 12 hours (or in an unlimited amount of time!) are not going to cut it. It's not an exact science but we look for FECs that are imaginative, topical, and/or represent a high degree of difficulty. (And while we wouldn't actually advise it, live streaming the whole thing would make our day.) Which brings us to today's challenge. It occurred at an investment bank in midtown and although it loses points for not letting us know ahead of time so that we could chronicle the thing in real time, there are a number of things we like about it. Intern vs. VP. [Redacted] intern's last day (ever?). A dozen donuts each from our friends at DD. 1 hour limit to finish...Intern: larger build, 6'1" and extremely ambitious. VP: fit and 5'8" with a vicious appetite. Identical donut selection includes: - 2 chocolate - 2 glazed - 1 sugar - 2 strawberry frosted - 2 chocolate frosted - 1 blueberry - 1 Oreo crumble - 1 Boston creme VP downed the whole thing in 13:31. Intern disappointingly tapped out shortly after at 9 donuts and a bite. Intern is feeling "terrible," is alternating between a sugar rush and mild depression, and wants to sleep under his desk. It's not clear what's going on in his mind and body. Besides looking very uncomfortable, he's having a hard time responding to questions with any answer besides "I don't know." He's buying drinks for everyone tonight. Obviously there's zero sense of urgency here as a result of getting a recap rather than doing it live. But! Twelve adult-sized donuts (as opposed to a bunch of munchkins)? Good. Thirteen minutes for the whole spread? Good. Pitting a superior against an underling (rather than making a couple of interns race each other)? GOOD. Take these ideas, particularly the last one and run with them. Feel free to come up with your own but at least just consider making founder vs. peasant/30 minutes/2 chocolate fountains each/70-100 items to dip/race to the finish happen.