Once upon a time, there were two Brits named Gabriel Radzikowski and Sara Lilly living in flats in Bath. Lilly was a 'local director' at Barclays and Radzikowski...dabbled in various areas. At one point, Radzikowski could no longer afford to pay the rent and knowing his neighbor worked at a bank, figured he'd easily be able to secure a loan, no questions asked. Unfortunately and much to Gabe's surprise, Lilly did not vouch for him and "use her position" to get him the money. Lacking the necessary funds the landlord required each month, Radzikowski was forced to move out of his flat and was "taken in by a local Polish couple." And it's while he was staying with Robert and Maria Jurczak that Gabe realized he had a choice to make. He could either a) take the bank's rejection of his application for the loan, which probably had less to do with Ms. Lilly than it did his lack of a job in the traditional sense, in stride and move on or b) he could do what anyone else in such a position would do and say "Fuck this shit; you refuse my loan? I kidnap your dog and put him on ice, bitch."
Radzikowski choose the latter and got to work with a plan that went something like this:
Step 1: Steal dog (a Yorkshire Terrier named Bilbo Baggins) in the middle of the night.
Step 2: Call owner, Ms. Lilly, and tell her she'll get her dog back if she pays a "reward." Do not feel the need to disguise voice or get someone else to make the call. By claiming name to be "Martin," she'll never know.
Step 3: When she says she knows it's you, "insist she's incorrect," that it's Martin, and hang up.
Step 4: Keep calling "reiterating the threat and demanding £500 or she'll never see the dog again"
Step 5: Dump the dog in an icy pond
Step 6: When Lilly and the police ultimately find Biblo and you are accused of blackmail and intimidation, tell them you've been framed by the Barclays director
Step 7: When prompted for a reason as to why she would frame you, tell the authorities, she had done so because you "had once turned down her offer of £100 to spent the night with her."
Step 8: ???
Step 9: Profit