Over the holiday weekend, the Post ran an article about New York men who use their "luxury apartments to attract the ladies," in which several dudes were interviewed about their abodes' abilities to get them laid. One of them was well-known comedian Jim Norton, who was obviously fucking with the paper when he said stuff like:

"Women see windows — and skirts come off. This one businesswoman, she came over, and she said she was ‘not like the other girls,’ ” he recalls of the guest, who announced that she did not sleep with men on the first date. “Well, fast-forward an hour after seeing the apartment, and not only was she like the other girls, she was worse. They like the view...I remember another woman . . . I knew she was impressed with the place and decided to sleep with me. I gave a horrible [sexual] performance. She walked around the apartment a couple of times before she left — almost reminding herself that this is why she just put herself through that.”

Then there was "financier" John, who clearly took this seriously and while flexing in front of the mirror, told the reporter:

“In New York, when you say porn, more people are likely to think you mean real estate,” says John, a multimillionaire financier who asked that his real name not be used. “Every two-bit banker at Goldman Sachs can buy you an expensive dinner or have a $175,000 Ferrari, but how many can have the $10 million trophy pad?”

Putting the call on speaker so he could use both hands to get in some Shake Weight time, John went on:

John frequently lets his friends borrow his 5,000-square-foot Upper East Side apartment so they can bring home the ladies while he’s away on business. After letting a London hedge-funder borrow his flat for a few days, the financier reported that his friend was able to score every night with three women (though not at the same time). “He told me: ‘They were excited when they got to the door — and when they saw the view, it was a done deal.’ ”

[NYP]