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Commodities Trader Builds His Dream Apartment, Natural Light Thankfully Not Included

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In 2008, Nedim Soylemez paid $3.1 million for an apartment in Tribeca. He didn't move in until 16 months later, though, as the space needed a "stressful gut renovation" that "surpassed his $1 million budget" by an undisclosed amount in order to attain perfection. For Soylemez, perfection includes:

* Unnatural light (The windowless north wall features a video installation of Joshua Tree, Calif, which "creates the illusion of a window suffused with changing desert light." "People will say, 'Oh, what does that look out onto?'" Soylemez told the Journal. Nothing and that's how he likes it. "If it's going to be all light and all windows, it should be in the Hamptons, where I can take my shirt off and jump in the pool," he said.)

* A bathroom where he can get away from it all (The trader likes spending time in his 150-square-foot master bathroom, where the concrete-and-marble shower has speakers and four showerheads, and the tub has a TV.)

* "Inconspicuous shower drains and air-conditioning vents"

* "Asymmetrical kitchen counters and multiangled walls"

* A guest room that will freak out particularly inebriated guests should the wake in the middle of the night (in windowless room used as a guest bedroom, a spectrum of colored lights (fluorescent tubes with different-colored gels) placed behind a floating wall suggest sunlight peeking through a crack.)

* Enough space for him not to feel like people are breathing down his neck or demanding his constant attention (Mr. Soylemez's girlfriend, 29-year-old Rebecca Lee, said the apartment creates opportunities to slow down for Mr. Soylemez, who tends to wander away in midconversation or become distracted by his BlackBerry.)


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He's not going to be reduced to begging (any more than he already has).

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And yet no one will make him an offer, despite slashing $36 million off the original asking price. $36 million, people! Who does he have to screw around here to at least get a dialogue going?