Research In Motion Will Not See Another Dime From One Incensed Private Equity Guy (Update)


According to the 3,000 word email written by the ex-customer, RIM can kiss his $120/month good-bye.

Dear Research in Motion Management,

Who knows if anyone will ever read this letter, I am sure you have been getting an amplified amount recently. I have been a loyal customer of RIM my whole life, starting with my first Blackberry-the 7280. I was attending high school in europe and it was because of AT&T’s superior international functionality and RIM’s amazing email and BBM services I was able to keep in contact with my family back in the states and I thank you for that.

Throughout the next few years I continued buying BlackBerrys; the 8800, the Curve, the 9000 Bold and then the Bold 2 - other than one laps to the first generation iphone. Each of these RIM devices was better than its predecessor, regardless of how many times I broke them due to water damage or just general wear and tear. I ALWAYS came back to Blackberry. When I moved to America in order to attend college I preached to my fellow students how amazing my experience was with AT&T and Blackberry. I can confidently say I convinced at least 10 people to switch over to Blackberry so they could enjoy the wonders of simple-effective push email, BBM and the efficiency of a keyboard. I regret that now.

When I finally broke my last Bold 2 this November, I called AT&T looking to buy a replacement. However, every time I called they would state that a new Bold was on the verge of release and they did not have any 9700s left, recommending I wait for the new device. The representative would not give me the release date but assured me it was approaching soon and I should resist buying a replacement off ebay. Alas my backup blackberry died over the New Year and I was forced to buy the Torch which according to your advertisements and spokespeople was a “revolutionary smart phone”. It simply was not. I have never been more displeased with a device; every day I find myself pondering if the functionality of the sliding screen is to generate lift because the phone is better off flying from the window of my car as it is incapable of effectively keeping me connected to my friends and work.

I have waited tolerantly for the 9900 Bold to be released, I check everyday hoping to hear news about the phone but I only see RIM continue to fail. You announced the phone in May, your representatives hinted at the device in December - it is almost August and the phone still does not have a release date. 240 days, that is the amount of good will one of your best and most faithful customers has. I have been lied to and feel abandoned. You have failed as a service and manufacturing company (other than RIMs hosting and server services). The coverage that BGR (Boy Genius Report) has been giving on the demise of RIM could not be more accurate.

I implore you to listen to your employees, fix your management structure and return to being the industry leader and revolutionary company you once were! I believe you have the intelligence to turn your company around before Google buys you, rips you apart and turns you into their hardware division!

I will be switching to the iphone this weekend, not because I think it is a good phone or because I have become “trendy” it’s because I no longer want to support a poorly run and immature company. Clean your act up then send me an email or give me a phone call. I wish you best of luck until that time comes.

Ps. Feel free to look up my account and see how good of a customer I have been. Consider every $1 spent since January 1st to be paid reluctantly and without pleasure. I would have been better off burning the cash in a money pit. Attached to this letter you will find the email I received from I hope you knew that emails sent to this address were denied and no clear alternative was shown.

Update: Apparently RIM execs are getting paper copies as well:


Leon Cooperman's Beef With President Obama Involves An Unsolicited Copy Of His 14 Year-Old Granddaughter's Self-Published Memoirs And Not One Handwritten Thank-You Note In Return

Last November, hedge fund manager Leon Cooperman penned an "Open Letter To The President Of The United States of America," in which he detailed the many ways Barack Obama was pissing him off. The Omega Advisors founder accused the President (and his "minions") of engaging in class warfare, expressed disbelief that he could attack "capitalists who...fill store shelves at Christmas" and still sleep at night, and advised Obama to "eschew the polarizing vernacular of political militancy," lest he lose* Cooperman's vote the next year.  While LC says that he received a major outpouring of support for his words ("[he] keeps a bulging manila folder of congratulatory notes in his office"), others were less than pleased at what they saw as a guy who actually has done pretty okay under Obama lashing out because his feelings were hurt on the occasions the president was perceived to have a "tone" in his voice when discussing the mega-wealthy ("If I knew where you lived, I’d put a bomb in your car," one person wrote Cooperman to say). Similarly, Cooperman's suggestion, on at least two occasions, that America should be worried about the startling parallels between Obama's rise to power and that of Adolf Hitler,** was met with mixed reviews, including one by his wife in which she called him a "schmuck." And while some*** have found it preposterous that Cooperman would paint himself as a victim of Obama, their astonishment speaks to not knowing the whole story, i.e. exactly what this man- no, this monster- did to Leon. Last July, before he had written the letter, Cooperman was invited to the White House for a reception to honor wealthy philanthropists who had signed Bill and Melinda Gates and Warren Buffett’s Giving Pledge, promising to donate at least fifty per cent of their net worth to charity. At the event, Cooperman handed the President two copies of “Inspired: My Life (So Far) in Poems,” a self-published book written by Courtney Cooperman, his fourteen-year-old granddaughter. Cooperman was surprised that the President didn’t send him a thank-you note or that Malia and Sasha Obama, for whom the books were intended as a gift and to whom Courtney wrote a separate letter, didn’t write to Courtney. (After Cooperman grumbled to a few friends, including Cory Booker, the mayor of Newark, Michelle Obama did write. Booker, who was also a recipient of Courtney’s book, promptly wrote her “a very nice note,” Cooperman said.) Now do you understand? Now do you understand? Even Hitler would have sent SOMETHING. Super-Rich Irony [New Yorker] Earlier: Leon Cooperman Doesn't Like The Tone Of President Obama's Voice *Just messing about him ever being in a position to "lose" it, of course. **Settle down, he wasn't saying Obama IS Hitler, would would be biologically impossible, he was just saying Obama is the second coming of Hitler, which is something people should be aware of: “You know, the largest and greatest country in the free world put a forty-seven-year-old guy that never worked a day in his life and made him in charge of the free world,” Cooperman told the New Yorker in May. “Not totally different from taking Adolf Hitler in Germany and making him in charge of Germany because people were economically dissatisfied. Now, Obama’s not Hitler. I don’t even mean to say anything like that. But it is a question that the dissatisfaction of the populace was so great that they were willing to take a chance on an untested individual.” ***Mrs. Cooperman, for example.: She is still a liberal, a position that puts her in the minority in their social circle. “She can be a socialist because she’s married to a capitalist,” Cooperman says of his wife, who is strongly pro-choice and pro-gay marriage. She calls Todd Akin, Rick Santorum, and Rick Perry “morons,” and she worries about the underclass. “I care more about the disadvantaged people of America,” she said, comparing her politics with those of her husband.

On One of The Worst Days Of WhaleGate For Jamie Dimon, JPMorgan's Vice-Chairman Thought It Would Make Him Feel Better To Hear From Another Guy Who's Sort Of But Not Really Been There

As you may have heard, Summer 2012 was not the best of times for JPMorgan CEO Jamie Dimon. On May 10, after having said that a Bloomberg story about one of its London traders making very large, very worrisome bets was but "a tempest in a teapot," the bank announced that said trader had lost approximately $2 billion. On May 11, it was suggested that Dimon's title of most loved-banker on Wall Street was up for grabs. On June 19, Dimon was forced to testify on Capitol Hill. In July 13, JPMorgan was forced to revise the $2 billion loss to $6 billion. Associates who surrounded Dimon during these days said that the stress was visibly wearing on him, and that it was arguably one of the worst periods of his career. And while senior executives logged long hours and gave up weekends and holidays to help deal with the fallout, gathering documents and unwinding trades and trying to manage the crisis, only one busted his ass to actually give Jamie Dimon what he needed: Jimmy Lee. After spending much of July 13 again explaining the trading loss to the media and to research analysts—including making the stunning admission that the traders in London may have intentionally mismarked the trades to make them look less egregious, a potential illegality that the Justice Department is still investigating—the exhausted Dimon got an unexpected call from Tom Brady, the star quarterback of the New England Patriots. (Jimmy Lee, a legendary sports fan, had arranged for it.) Brady reminded Dimon that even Super Bowl champs have bad days and told him “to hang in there.” And after thinking about it and thinking about it and thinking about it some more, snapped his finger and said, "I've got it- we need to get Tom Brady on the line." And then gathered his five secretaries in his office and told them to clear his and their schedules because they needed to get this deal done by the end of the day. And when he finally got Brady on the line, assured him that the call would be welcome and that it wouldn't be awkward* or seem out of left field. "Just tell him he's got this. Tell him that if banking or football were easy everyone would be doing it. Tell him that even on your worst day, you still get to go home and bang that little Brazilian of yours. No, wait, scratch that. Tell him you can't generate profits and be responsible for the losses at the same time. Tell him, 'Keep your chin, up, kid.' Tell him you're down by 7, you just took a huge sack, Gronkowski's got a broken leg and you're not wearing a cup. But there's still time left on that clock, Jamie D. And as long as there's time left on that clock, you're going to score a mother fucking touchdown. Tell him, 'Go get 'em, Tiger.' You still there, pal?" Jamie Dimon On The Line [VF]