Yesterday we learned the disturbing news that R. Kelly may soon lose his house, on account of not having paid his mortgage since June 2010. Kelly owes JPMorgan $2.9 million, plus unpaid interest accruing at $251 a day on the suburban Chicago spread and while he probably has a few other places in which to crash, this place is special as it comes with six full bathrooms, seven half-baths, and 12 walk-in closets. What was the R&B singer to do? His options appeared limited. Then, today, while thumbing through the international section...eureka.
According to Bloomberg, a group called La Plataforma de los Afectados por la Hipoteca, which means “platform for those affected by their mortgage,” has been successfully fighting evictions in Madrid. All one has to do is call PAH headquarters, give them an address, and hundreds of volunteers are dispatched to form a "human chain" around the house, daring the foreclosure man to try and get through. Obviously this plan could work for RK just as well if not better. He doesn't have the cash to fly the Spaniards in but he can do one better- he can turn to his fans. Would JPMorgan try and break a chain formed by hundreds of 13 year-old girls around the 11,600 square foot house, with a fake rainstorm falling on Kelly singing on a platform hoisted up in the air by a crane? There's only one way to find out.