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Attention Single Men Looking For Love And/Or To Get Their Hedge Fund Off The Ground: Westchester Divorcée's Got What You Need


From Forbes: "In a 15-page complaint filed in Manhattan’s New York state court earlier this week, Simon accuses his wife, Linda Simon, of hacking into a password-protected Twin Capital computer located in the Simon’s home in Purchase, N.Y. and duplicating the hard-drive. The lawsuit claims that the hacking took place shortly after Simon had vacated the residence in late July and Linda Simon initiated divorce proceedings in New York state court...“Highly confidential financial records, intellectual property, trade secrets, and attorney-client communications were unlawfully stolen,” a court document filed by Twin Capital Management says. “Continued possession and use of the highly confidential materials they stole from Twin Capital is likely to cause substantial damage to Twin Capital.” Simon’s Twin Capital says it is suing for $25 million and the return of all the materials copied from the computer."

So, what is Linda planning on doing with these trade secrets?

a) Blowing up her husband's firm's spot
b) Starting her own hedge fund
c) Selling them to John Paulson
d) Printing out hard copies of everything, highlight and marking up various spots with the words "smells like a ponzi scheme to me!" before sending it to the SEC
e) Bringing them as her contribution to Patty Cohen's book club
f) Keeping them until he looks her in the face and admits that he was, in fact, masturbating to this video and not just "limbering up"
g) Other

New York Hedge Fund Manager Claims His Wife Hacked His Computer And Stole Trading Secrets [Forbes via BI]



Ken Griffin: Still Single. Still Got It.

Turns out being married was only holding The Griff back.

Attention Art Lovers And People Looking To Hedge Their Bets: Get Your Mathew Martoma Today

Geoffrey Raymond, Wall Street's artist in-residence, who's done everyone from Jimmy Cayne to Jamie Dimon to Lenny Dykstra to Ina Drew, put his paintbrush to the canvas over the weekend and came up with this: "Portrait of Mathew Martoma, In The Manner of Roy Lichtenstein," which is apparently supposed to be an homage to "Drowning Girl." As this one might become a collector's item, and animals in formaldehyde aren't going for what they used to, consider making him an offer tout de suite. Bidding starts at 10K.