CNBC helpfully reminds us that the S&P is on track for the worst 6-day August start since ever, and the worst single day since December 2008. What kind of records will we be setting this afternoon?

Call the close. In fact, in this special edition of C the C, call both closes (S&P and Dow). Standard Price Is Right rules, closet without going over. Winner will receive your choice of an 'I heart Dealbreaker' button or a motorcycle with a 'Fuck You S&P' license plate.