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Maybe You Should Try: Hunting Body Parts Instead Of Alpha

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Have you had it with this place? Do you want to get out of here and by here we mean not only Wall Street but, like, the Northern Hemisphere/your life/your gender/an existence that closely resembles hell/etc? If your idea of change is "taking some time off to travel" or "figuring out what I really want to do," let us stop you right now- our time is precious and you're wasting it. Alternatively, if your idea of change is drinking goat blood and then vomiting it back up, we can help.

Quite simply, we suggest you a page from former British banker Thomas Heathfield's playabook. Heathfield (far left) found his work "getting rather routine" and looking for "something a little different," decided to spend three months in South Africa "sleeping rough in the bush, wearing traditional robes and hunting for animal parts to prove he was strong enough to become a healer."

Heathfield had to learn enough of the local Swazi language, which is spoken in northern South Africa, to understand orders given to him at his final exam. He learned how to put himself into a spiritual trace through a ritual dance called kuhlehla every day at 2.30am. He had to find a goat bladder and other dissected body parts hidden half a mile from where the villagers were gathered. Mr Heathfield was given tribal name Gogo Mndawe by villagers near the town of Komatipoort, in Mpumalanga province. The novice was banned from all contact with friends and family before his graduation ceremony on Sunday, attended by his parents Ally and Brian Heathfield who had travelled from the family home in England. He added: ‘Mum and Dad were there, along with about 200 people from the surrounding villages. I hadn’t slept for three days, and I’d almost given up a couple of times. I had to give up my identity and the fact I am male. I was just a being.

The convert, from Maidenhead, Berkshire, previously advised a high street bank on management but said a spiritual awakening prompted his decision to drop everything. ‘Some people might see this as a weird decision because I had a successful job in the UK and quite a nice life. But I’ve realised that there is more to my life. Now I’m living in the real world more.

Who's ready to get real?

The British banker who quit his job to become South African witch doctor [Daily Mail]