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Keefe, Bruyette & Woods CEO Has A Logical Explanation For Why He Bought Crotchless Panties For Women Up And Down The Eastearn Seaboard, If Anyone Would Care To Listen

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Because John Duffy, the Chief Executive Officer of investment bank Keefe, Bruyette & Woods is a married man, some people, such his estranged wife, would like to know why he "lavished millions of dollars' worth of homes, jewelry and sexy outfits from Victoria's Secret on stunning women in three different countries." Kathy Duffy thinks she already has the answer (the trinkets were part of his "public and notorious adulterous relationships") and for that reason has chosen to demand more than $20 million in divorce proceedings that have taken place so far. But she's wrong! John AKA "Duff" wasn't cheating on her with these ladies and his reason doesn't even involve invoking the law of different area codes. Those homes he bought in Yonkers and CT? Those Rolexes and "educational supplies" and the mesh chaps? Those weren't gifts for his gal-pals, those were investments!

"[Kathy Duffy] charged adultery -- we're getting into Tiger Woods territory," a source said, adding that the three women have been subpoenaed to testify in court. One of Duffy's alleged trysts involves the tattooed, blond lead singer of a rock band, a source said. The singer allegedly netted a $73,000 car, a Rolex watch and other gifts from Duffy totaling more than $770,000, the source said. Duffy, nicknamed "Duff," has claimed that he had met the woman by chance in a Manhattan bar and decided to bankroll her music career. His wife also claims that another woman received a $345,000 condo in Yonkers and a Connecticut spread worth more than $465,000, the source said. The homes were both bought within the past eight years. The third woman received a home in tropical Santo Domingo in the Dominican Republic, a source said. Duffy also bought her furnishings, paid for her educational expenses, a car and other gifts totaling more than $800,000, his wife claims.

John Duffy has denied engaging in any sexual affairs, claiming the homes and gifts he bought for the women were "investments," a source said.

Hope this cleared things up.



Bernie Madoff Was Just Trying To "Change The Way Money Was Managed," Not That Anyone Cares

For about a year now, Bernie Madoff has been holding court with various members of the press about something that's been plaguing him: the fact that few people if any are willing to give credit where credit is due. Yes, he may have pleaded guilty to a $50 billion crime that ruined countless people's lives, including those of his wife and children, one of whom committed suicide as a result, but he did a lot of other stuff too, like run a "successful business" for which he won lots of "industry awards" during his "legitimate years." And, yet, everyone seems to forget all that when his name comes up, much like they conveniently forgot about how Mussolini made the trains run or time, or how Hitler built those wonderful autobahns, or how Ted Bundy made women feel special. And since he's serving a 150 year sentence, Berns has had lots of time to ponder why his years of legitimate achievements go unmentioned and the one thing he keeps coming back to? Irving Picard, who's pulled a fast one on you all, by suggesting that Bernie's crime started wayyyyy before it did, when, in fact, Madoff Securities was only running a Ponzi scheme for barely even 20 years. Examine the evidence Madoff shared with Forbes contributor Diana B. Henriques via email: Jan. 17, 2011 11:05 A.M. … Also remember that the U.S. Attorney admitted that they had no evidence that the crime started in the 80’s and could establish that Montauk and the N.Y. homes in Ruth’s name were not purchased with tainted funds … Mar. 10, 2011 7:35 A.M. … I would love to know what evidence [Picard] has to date my crime back to 1983 … THE FACT IS THAT THERE IS NONE. 8:05 A.M. … I say once again the fraud started in the 90’s … Mar. 18, 2011 9:26 A.M. … I guess I’m obsessed with this START OF CRIME ISSUE. Don't you see, idiots of the media?! That's the real issue here. Not the crime itself but the start of the crime. Do the math. Oct. 11, 2011 7:20 A.M. ... You can do a back of the envelope calculation as follows. From 1963 I made substantial arbitrage profits for the Picower, Shapiro and Chais families joined by the Levy family in 1970. [M]ost of these profits were re­invested and the amounts compounded. In 1970 Saul Alpern formed his partnerships later [run] by Avellino and Bienes. In 1980 I started trading for [French banker] Albert Igoin and his French and Swiss banking associates. All of these accounts averaged about 20% annually and were involved in various forms of convertible arb using bonds, pfds [preferreds], Rts. [rights] and units. [A]nd ALL WERE LEGITIMATE TRADING. THIS CONTINUED THRU THE EARLY 90’S. Nov. 24, 2011 6:51 P.M. … When you look at my RIDDLE [in the Nov. 23 letter], consider the fact that there was in fact no crime until I did not have enough capital in the firm to cover the losses. There is your real STORY The interesting thing here is not that there was an 11-figure fraud, okay? The interesting thing is how long the 11-figure fraud went on. And it stinks to high hell that that slippery fuck Picard and Co. are claiming it dates back to 1983 and that you're all buying it, hook, line and sinker. Come on, people. They're lawyers. Who are you gonna trust, them or a Ponzi schemer? But don't feel sorry for Bernie. Feel sorry for yourselves, for what could have been and what never was. Near the end of that e-mail the clouds of self-deception close in again, and Madoff turns himself into a pitiful martyr: “I made the tragic mistake of trying to change the way money was managed and was successful at the start, but lost my way after a while and refused to admit that I failed at one point.” HE WAS TRYING TO THE WAY MONEY WAS MANAGED! A legitimate way to make Ponzi scheme payments, before it was tragically snuffed out. Oct. 11, 2011 7:36 A.M. … I will never get over the distortions being presented by everyone as to the poor and now homeless when in fact they all signed documents when opening their accounts that they were sophisticated and had enough wealth to withstand the possible losses of short term trading. I wish I had saved the hundreds of letters I received thanking me for how I was responsible for their happiness over the years and their pleading with me to keep their accounts open when I tried to close them … when I worried about the wreckage I might cause if I couldn’t recover. Is the REAL STORY that the investor agreements specifically authorized BLMIS to make Ponzi scheme payments (a totally legitimate type of securities transaction, a short term trade if you will)? Unless someone pulls their head out of their ass, the world will never know. Exclusive: The Secret Madoff Prison Letters [Forbes]