Updated:

Jan 14, 2019

Original:

Aug 17, 2011

Société Générale CEO Is What Jeffrey Gundlach Would Call 'Les Incompetents'

Author:

Jeffrey Gundlach is a hugely talented man. The bond manager, who is currently being sued by his former employer for alleged theft of proprietary information that he snuck out of the office in a secretary's bra, can do it all. In addition to being, as he's previously stated, "The guy who can make it rain the desert," Gundlach is a self-described genius (who once asked a colleague, “What’s it like having lunch with a genius?”), a modern art expert, a dildo collector, an adult film critic, and a guy who's got a legitimate shot at becoming an auctioneer at Christie's or an announcer at the Greyhound Classic, which is the Kentucky Derby of dog graces. What you may not have known about Gundlach is that he is also a budding thespian, whose speciality is impressions of French guys that used to be his boss.

If you're gay and don't like being discriminated against for being gay. Otherwise it's the cat's pajamas.

And you can't ask for 5.7 bajillion euros.

The French bank has some very angry little mistmakers on its hands. "Societe Generale paid their 1st year investment banking analysts between 15k-50k in bonuses. Most juniors were furious, especially since this is 20-40% lower than Street. The firm is continually declining in the Americas within investment banking, and has reduced tremendous headcount over the past year. It relies heavily on trading revenues from derivatives, with very little resources dedicated to M&A, ECM, and DCM. In a period where other banks are cutting operations in the US, SocGen leads the pack in decline. In February 2012 head of CIB, Didier Valet, said that the firm would not compete with bulge brackets. Regardless of these negatives, SocGen continues to say that it is a top investment banking player. They are not, and juniors on Wall Street should know before entering into this trap."

As you may have heard, at some point last week, bond manager Jeffrey Gundlach was robbed. Thieves took $10 million worth of stuff from the Doubleline founder's Santa Monica pad, including a couple of paintings, a few watches, some high-priced wine, a 2010 Porsche Carrera 4S, and whatever cash was lying around. While it's unclear if the burglars made away with Gundlach's collection of priceless pornographic films and sexual apparatus; if he was targeted specifically because the thieves knew they could get their hands on the original copy of Dr. Fellatio 16; or if they were tipped off by JG's regular pizza delivery guy, cable repairman, or pool boy, what is clear that Gundlach is pissed, pissed like a man who is no longer in possession of Ass Traffic Volume 2: The Director's Cut. And that's where you come in. Mr Gundlach has reportedly offered a $100,000 reward for the return of his property. $1,000 is also being offered for information leading to the arrest and conviction of those who carried out the raid, according to Santa Monica police. And to the burglars, if you're reading this, Gundlach will see your asses in court (the real kind, unless you want to settle this in Bondage Nookie Court in which case, get in touch with this lawyer). Multimillionaire financier victim of $10-million heist [LA Times] Thieves snatch $10million haul of fine art, jewellery and a Porsche from home of wealthy banker dubbed the 'Bond God' [DM] Related (...?): Jeffrey Gundlach NOT Set Up By TCW, Big Fan Of “Dr. Fellatio” Series

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