Skip to main content

Step 1: Get Your Hedge Fund A 212 Area Code; Step 2: ???; Step 3: Profit


Are you running a hedge fund out of Bumblefuck, USA? Do you feel like having a New York area code could help you take this thing to the next level but lack the funds necessary for a move? Dennis Mkyktyn may be able to help. In 2003 the former hedge fund manager had the foresight to buy a bunch of 212 numbers- 100 to be exact-, knowing that one day people like yourselves would be doing unspeakable things to get their hands on one.

“It’s prestigious,” said Mr. Mykytyn, who runs a record label, Modern Records, in an office at Lafayette and East Fourth Streets. “When 212 is on your phone, everyone knows where that it is, and it means you’ve been around for a while..It’s old-school New York. The number represents a business that’s been around for a long time,” he said. Mr. Mykytyn is able to use the 212 cachet wherever he likes; he said he receives calls to his 212 number in Los Angeles because the phone service is digital. “I had an analyst working for me in Minnesota who had a 212 number,” he said. “If anyone called, they thought he was in New York.”

So he's clearly playing coy right now but as you and we all know, everyone's gotta price. Name yours and in the unlikely event he doesn't cave, we'll hook you up with a guy hoarding an arguably more prestigious** area code- the 203. He's sitting on millions of them, literally, and while you might have to videotape yourself admitting to your co-workers you think professional wrestling is real to get 'em, it'll be worth it.

Want A 212 Number? This Man Has 100 Of Them [NYT via FINalternatives]

**If you exclude 50% of the towns it covers.


Area Hedge Fund Manager: Leave Harry Alone!

As you may have heard, earlier this week the lovable scamp that is Prince Harry of Wales got in a bit of hot water when he was photographed ass naked in Las Vegas, with a bunch of equally ass naked ladies, following some sort of swim meet with Olympic gold medalist Ryan Lochte. Those photographs, some of which involved a billiards table and pool cues, were subsequently run on the covers of various newspapers and the Queen, being none too pleased, told her grandson to get on the first flight back to London (apparently in a tone so scary he knew she meant business and "did not mingle with other passengers," instead remaining "in the upstairs cabin of the 747" to think about what he'd done). While it's unclear what kind of punishment the Queen has in mind, or if she's yet delivered the sort of tongue lashing generally reserved for naughty Corgis and her subjects at RBS, in the meantime many have come to the prince's defense and advised the old lady to back off, like the hedge fund manager the Times found on the tube who thinks the Queen should relax and have a good laugh about it. She'd be doing the same thing if Prince Philip ever gave her a weekend off. Among people surveyed at random in central London, including subway commuters reading about the Las Vegas incident on the front page of the tabloid the Evening Standard, the verdict was mostly thumbs-up. “I think it’s quite funny,” said John Daniels, 46, a hedge fund manager. “I’m sure most people would like to be doing exactly the same thing, especially in Vegas. This is his own private time and people shouldn’t be taking photographs of him.” For Prince Harry, Vegas Exploits Didn't Stay There [NYT]

Area Hedge Fund Manager Takes President's Breath Away

From the front lines: From: Whitney Tilson Sent: Wednesday, April 11, 2012 11:20 AM Subject: My column: "A millionaire for higher taxes" In DC, just chatted with Obama and stood behind him at his press conference re the Buffett rule. Just published the column below on the Washington Post web site. As I shook his hand beforehand, I said, "Hi Mr. President, I'm Whitney Tilson of Democrats for Education Reform. We were early supporters of yours and I just wanted to thank you and Arne Duncan for the incredible work you're doing." His eyes lit up and he said, "I remember your early support. We're making progress but we still have a lot of work to do." I said, "We'll keep fighting for you" as he was hustled out of the room to start the press conference.