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Take Cover

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On any given day, we have a lot of fun fucking around these parts. Like to keep it light. Mess with you. This weekend though, is serious, and we want you to treat it as such. Take the appropriate measures. Prepare accordingly. If your home is located in a high risk area, leave. We mean it- do not try and be a hero. Promise us you'll go somewhere safe to wait out the storm. Don't have anywhere to go? That's a bull shit. Of course you do.

That's right. The one place you can always count on. Where you go when the boss is really riding you. Where you take first dates. Where people care about. Head there this weekend and, as indicated by the beige shading which represents areas that will not be flooded by a hurricane of any category, you'll be safe and taken care of. They're open all weekend, they need minimal power to function, they've got couches that double as cots and no one gets wet unless they want to.