Last week we discussed the concept of the Do It Yourself bonus, for those who anticipate a battle with management on comp this year. Rather than wasting your time negotiating, why not just take what you know in your plums you deserve? While successfully robbing a bank is as easy these days as scribbling on a fake beard, there are other options should you be uncomfortable with such an aggressive plan. For instance, you could put the moves on a couple of bank tellers and then watch as the identity theft-facilitating panties drop.
A hard-partying Bronx ladies' man with a criminal past was hauled into court Thursday on charges he swiped $1 million from JPMorgan Chase by seducing bank tellers. Richard Dames, who calls himself Geovanni Kasanova, and five others were named in a 148-count indictment charging they stole the identities of 80 victims in a scheme that ran from 2009 to 2011...Among his co-conspirators are two tellers, who were in love with him. Kia Wylie, 30, who pleaded not guilty to selling the stolen identities of nine account-holders to Dames, had a love letter she wrote him in her desk drawer, officials said. Malika Williams also pleaded not guilty - and her lawyer insisted she was a victim. "He set her up," Anthony Evans said. Dames picked up the 25-year-old at a bar and convinced her their relationship was real, he said. "She's an overweight, shy girl who doesn't date a lot - to her he's a Casanova," Evans said.
Dames, who appeared in court with his underwear sticking out of his jeans...is charged with using the data to open credit card and eTrade accounts and make cash withdrawals.
In the unlikely event you get caught, you'll want to make sure to play it cool and vague like Kasanova, who when first asked by the cops about Williams simply responded "I know several Malikas."