Next Time You Want To Ask Phil Falcone A Question, Make It One You Don't Already Know The Answer To

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LightSquared is a wireless venture that seeks to create "convenient connectivity for all." But, as the careful listeners among us know full well, it stands to do much more. In short, it will make or break backer Harbinger Capital. Success will mean billions for manager Phil Falcone and his investors. Failure will mean Wilbur Falcone going back to where it all began, peddling ZJ's on the 5:54 Metro North to Greenwich.

As one can expect when one is doing ground-breaking, visionary-esque work, LightSquared has encountered some opposition. The yachting community worries the interference will cause them to get lost at sea. The National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration says it "may degrade precision services that track hurricanes, guide farmers and help build flood defenses." Mars is similarly pissed.

The most recent hostility came last week from various parties claiming that the White House pressured certain officials to change their testimony before Congress to favor LightSquared, in order to help the network's plans to move forward. Now, any and all donations the company's CEO and Falcone have made to Democratic organizations are being scrutinized. Earlier this morning, Phil told Fox Business that allegations of influence via money sicken him ("People think we've made contributions to grease the wheels, that is so wrong, it's disgusting,") and this afternoon, took the time to explain the impetus for one donation in particular. Apparently all roads lead back to a woman with many fans round these parts. The First Lady of the hedge fund industry. Her Excellence: Lisa Maria Falcone.

Falcone told The Daily Beast he made the donations to the DSCC because his wife was hosting a fundraiser for women in politics. “She asked me to contribute,” he said. “If I had said no, all hell would have broken loose.”

That Phil doesn't get into specifics vis-à-vis what kind of hell would've been in store for him 'round the manse makes this all the more chilling. Whether he was hinting towards Mrs. F (the 'f' stands for fuck you- "I do what I want") taking over more floors of the "18 years and no pre-nup means family office," coming up with an outfit that makes her previousrepertoire look restrained (a threat we would welcome with open arms but which even the Falcones have acknowledged society may not be ready for), or busting out the goalie mask and straight up beating his ass, it's clear this disclosure should lay any questions regarding supposed funny business to rest. None of you would've taken the risk, either.

White House's Testimony Guidance [TDB]
Related: Lisa Maria Falcone: "I Do What I Want"

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Phil Falcone Is Turning His Life Around

To put it lightly, the last couple years have been a rather dark time for Phil Falcone. Though his woes are too numerous to mention in full, they include: the adversity he's faced in getting people to believe in LightSquared; his unbelievably pissy investors, who still aren't over the time he borrowed $113 million from a gated fund to pay personal taxes, or offered to pay out redemptions in illiquid LightSquared equity; the Securities and Exchange Commission, which wants him banned from the industry for life; the woman who once offered a respite from it all, who now won't even come out of her room when she knows he's home; and, of course, the plunging returns in his once highly profitable hedge fund. It would be enough to make a grown man say 'Fuck, it. I'm done.' Put a few things in a sack, tie it to the blade of a hockey stick, and hitchhike back to Minnesota. But Phil didn't do that and now? After a merciless storm of shit that felt like it would never ease up? After long days of investors and regulators breathing down his neck and nights of having to pound on the front door because he was accidentally purposely locked out of the house? The tide feels like it's turning for Philip Falcone. Beleaguered hedge fund honcho Phil Falcone’s big bet on his own publicly traded entity, Harbinger Group, is helping to lift his troubled hedge fund, Harbinger Capital Management, out of the deep end. Falcone’s flagship fund posted returns of 10.6 percent in July and a whopping 28 percent gain in June. Of course, he's still down 5.8 percent year-to-date, and the the director of the SEC's division of enforcement wants hedge fund graduate schools to use Harbinger as a case study during the unit on "how to operate a hedge fund unlawfully," but tonight? Tonight he tells Lisa to treat herself to something nice. Tonight he tells Wilbur to pull the baby grand out of the closet, where it's sat untouched for months. Tonight his key works in the lock. Tonight we dance. Phil Helps Himself [NYP]