P.S. You're Not Allowed To Trade Anymore

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This probably doesn't come as much of a surprise, considering he was already found guilty of insider trading and sentenced to two and a half years in prison but that doesn't make it sting any less: Donald Longueuil, who the feds were able to bring charges against after his colleague, accomplice and so-called best friend Noah Freeman agreed to record conversations with Don in exchange for a lesser sentence, during which Don was heard on tape saying re: his USB flash drive:

"I pressed the eject button and everything’s fucking gone…destroyed….everything. Fuckin’, I, uh…I chopped it up, chopped up everything. It was easy. You take two pairs of pliers and then you rip it open and then, it just a piece of NAND…So I just fucking ripped it apart right there…I had two external drives that had like wafer numbers on ‘em. Fuckin’ pulled the external drives apart. Destroyed the platter…put ‘em into four separate little baggies and then at 2am…2 am on a Friday night, I put this stuff inside my black North Face jacket and leave the apartment and I go on like a 20 block walk around the city…and try to find a garbage truck…and threw away the shit in the back of like random garbage trucks, different garbage trucks…4 garbage trucks. The Feds can try and find it but it’s all fuckin’ ripped apart…everything’s gone.”

...has been barred from the securities industry.

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