Write-Offs: 05.24.12

$$$ European Economic Outlook Dims Amid Leaders’ Impasse [NYT] $$$ U.S. Bank Lending Falls, Profits Rise [WSJ] $$$ Buffett’s Goldman Deal Is Topic in an Insider Case [DealBook] $$$ Study Finds Germans Incapable of Enjoying Life [Der Spiegel] $$$ This happened: New York nun asks Blankfein if he'll hire her, Blankfein says "I don't think I couldoutbid your current employer" #godswork— Tracy Alloway (@tracyalloway) May 24, 2012 $$$ Man who formerly claimed to be a "certified member of the quiet society of pimps" and asked to be certified as an expert witness in pimpology now says "I was a failure as a pimp. I was a much better car salesman, I was a much better telemarketer, I was much better when I was selling mortgages by phone. I really wasn't very good at it. A lot of it was exaggerated." [NYP, earlier] $$$ A leading electronic trading platform is looking for a CDS / fixed income sales associate [DBCC] $$$ Big European funds dump euro assets [FT] $$$ Facebook market makers' losses total at least $100 million [Reuters] $$$ This is some enjoyable Eliot Spitzer schadenfreude [Concurring Opinions] $$$ "The festival features 10 different types of bacon, plus all things bacon — bacon sausage, bacon meatballs, bacon doughnuts, bacon butterscotch cupcakes — even a walking slab of bacon! There’s a bacon-eating contest, bacon lectures and a bacon song contest — and yes, there’s a crowning of the Bacon Queen! Contestants are asked questions like their favorite memory of bacon, their favorite kind of bacon and their favorite way to cook bacon (the most common answer is “naked,” incidentally)." [CNBC] $$$ Unabomber lists self as ‘prisoner’ in Harvard directory [Boston Globe]

Write-Offs: 03.14.12

$$$ Third Point’s Loeb Warns Yahoo Chief of Looming Proxy Fight [DealBook] $$$ "LightSquared has retained two of the most prominent conservative litigators in the country — Theodore Olson and Eugene Scalia — in a sign it could be preparing to launch a court battle against the FCC." [Politico] $$$ SEC Details Charges Against Pre-IPO Funds [WSJ] $$$ Surprisingly, placing third at the Jewish Olympics makes you only an average ping-pong player [BI] $$$ "Talk about selfish, such accomplishments didn't help anyone but him! There is no customer that will pay for self-indulgent status climbing in irrelevant hierarchies, regardless of how much we encourage our kids to play such games. That is, ping pong is a fabulous avocation, a pathetic vocation." [Falkenblog] $$$ How would you like to be an equity portfolio associate for PIMCO in Newport Beach? [DBCC] $$$ Bernanke says Fed to make bank rules clearer [Reuters] $$$ Pension funds don't want 100-year gilts [FT] $$$ Fitch Revises U.K.’s Sovereign Rating Outlook to Negative [Bloomberg] $$$ Pulitzer Prize-winning financial reporter Jesse Eisinger explains how he prepared for his role in The Social Network: "I became a billionaire to see what it felt like. I already knew about how to be rejected by girls, so that was easy. My role in Zombieland was much more difficult to prepare for." [Reddit] $$$ Former brothel owner makes Olympic team [MSN]