Perhaps you're a tourist who traveled hundreds of miles to visit the famed Wall Street bull and get your photo taken next to his sack. Perhaps you're a hedge fund manager who's down like 47 percent through September, and was told your luck could change by rubbing those balls. Perhaps you work downtown and simply enjoy teabagging the biggest pair in the area every night on the way home. If you are any or all of those things, brace yourself for a crushing wave of disappointment and loss because you're not getting anywhere near those guys.
Someone claiming to be with the Zuccotti Park activists yesterday tweeted out a threat to vandalize the iconic Wall Street bull sculpture. "Some guy said he was going to throw paint on the bull's b---s," a police source confided. That, of course, prompted cops to tighten security around the bull as protestors carried a golden calf named "Greed." A Downtown Alliance guard was seen locking up the barricade that has corralled the 7,100-pound bronze statue at Bowling Green since the protest began five blocks to the north.
A pair of New York City police officers were having no pity for the huddled masses of tourists who'd come from all over the world just to touch the bull - or his private parts - for luck. They begged futilely, then had to satisfy themselves with a pose at the gates. With flared nostrils and aggressive stance, the monument to capitalism, officially named "The Charging Bull," retained his fierce attitude, but the tourists looked like folks visiting a relative in jail. "I wanted to get under it," said Laura Hay, 22, from, well, Down Under. "That would have been cool." "Someone told me touching him is like touching Buddha's belly," said Stephanie Hirscher, 27, from Austria. "I mean, I wouldn't climb up and sit on him or anything, but we thought we'd be able to touch it." "I wish I could touch it, then you get more money," said M.B.A. student Kevin Li, 25, who first heard the superstition in his native China.