2_small_2_bail and Merkin_Capital on And If You Would Take A 98% Pay Cut In Order To Work At Citi, That’s Okay Too:

Strange coincidence... robbing someone at knifepoint was actually how I got my bonus this year.

-Citi MD

And MC with the runner-up:

"Young Wyatt,

Come back under the umbrella. We are, after all, the Quito of New York.

-VP"

Comment of the day is being sponsored by Ultimat Vodka.