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National Futures Association Politely Requests That Jon Corzine Apply For Membership So That It Can Ban Him For Life

Earlier this week, the NFA met to discuss the possibility of a lifetime ban of Jon Corzine from the futures industry. Two directors in particular-- John Roe and James Koutoulas-- wanted him out and wanted him out bad. Guy thought he could take down a once proud brokerage firm for yuks and then get off scot free? He had another thing coming, Roe and Koutoulas probably said to each other while putting the finishing touches on a press release they planned to send out announcing the news, in addition to skywriting plane they put a deposit on to spell out "Hit the bricks, pal," over Corzine's house. Unfortunately, the duo will most likely lose their $150 and most definitely have to save the party hats they sent others to pick up for another time. It seems in their excitement to tell JSC that he was "finished here," Roe and Koutalas failed to make sure he was actually a member of their organization.

Don't Let Opportunity To Dress Yourself Exclusively In MF Global-Branded Apparel Pass You By

Waxing nostalgic for the dearly departed brokerage firm? Don't have any connection to the place or sentimental feelings for it whatsoever but in need of a new wardrobe? You're in luck. An online auction of MF Global "memorabilia" is being held through Wednesday and all shit must go! Between the t-shirts, windbreakers, and stadium blanket that can double as pants, you've got a whole outfit. Want to get a jump start on Christmas gifts for your colleagues but don't want to break the bank? Nothing will say "I really enjoy working with you" quite like MF Global mugs, hats, pens, mouse pads, sticky notes, and "blue bags containing tissues." Finally, the crown jewel of the lot are the "light up bouncy balls with MF Global logo." Don't let yourself be outbid. HyperAMS Releases Video Preview for MF Global Bankruptcy Auction: Fine Art, CBOT Vintage Clacker Board, Memorabilia [Equities via BI]