As you may have heard, this Saturday night, Lenny Dykstra will box former co-worker Jose Canseco, in a title fight** that will be live-streamed for your viewing pleasure. Canseco was originally scheduled to go head to head with the husband of a Real Housewives cast member but "graciously" agreed to bow out after Nails "called and begged to take his place against Canseco" who, according to LD, "ruined my career by spreading lies." All of which got us thinking-- since Lenny a) is in serious need of some cash, b) not doing much these days, and c) probably looking to work out some of the aggression he feels toward people who've brought his life to the place it is today, perhaps he should consider fighting the other individuals who "ruined" things for him?
He could put on a silk robe and shorts for Jim Cramer, who jinxed Dykstra's career by calling him "one of the greats" in the investing industry, JPMorgan for throwing him out of his house, the pawn shop operator who called the cops on him for trying to exchange toilet fixtures for money, the bank teller that didn't make sure there was enough money in his account to prevent the check he gave a hooker from bouncing, and maybe TheStreet.com for not having the vision or balls to let him file a weekly column on the joys of private flying. These are just for starters, though. Surely there are others.
**Others set to take part in the event include Joey Buttafuco, Octomom, Amy Fisher, Coolio, and Tila Tequila.