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Dear SAC Capital Investors

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Steve "Call him 'Stevie' and you're a dead man" Cohen was reportedly up 8 percent after fees through the end of November. If anyone out there has been having a tough go of things this year and is looking for some guidance re: how he does it as we head into the last trading week of the 2011, don't bother. It's like saying to Pavarotti, "Teach me to sing like you." Thank you and good night. [Reuters]