$$$ Merkel's Dilemma: Risk Euro Zone or Her Government [WSJ] $$$ S.E.C. Pays Out First Whistle-Blower Reward [DealBook] $$$ Fed probes RBS over dealings with Iran [FT] $$$ Barry Diller's IAC offers $300 million for About.com [Reuters] $$$ Fifty Shades of Grey Is Now the Only Hope Our Economy Has [DI] $$$ Red Lobster Waitress Attacked For Filling Water Glasses Too Often At St. Louis Location [HuffPo] $$$ A broker-dealer is looking for experienced emerging market credit salespeople in Stamford [DBCC] $$$ Subprime Whodunit A Case of Semantics [WSJ, related] $$$ Best Buy Suspends Profit Outlook & Buybacks After Ending Deal Talks [Reuters] $$$ Sometimes VCs sell stock, deal with it [Fred Wilson] $$$ "Prince Harry tried to end Ryan Lochte’s championship reign Monday, duking it out with the Olympic hero in an after-hours race at a boozy Las Vegas pool party." [NYDN] $$$ The Koch brothers' less famous younger brother built a fake Western town for some reason [Gawker]

Martin Shkreli down to zero jobs; Chipotle can't catch a break; "Star Wars" is box-office DeathStar; "Lenny Dykstra Plays Bad Santa At Strip Club"; and more!

$$$ Fed Minutes Suggest Action Likely [WSJ] $$$ Ainslie Up 20% As Stock Hedge Funds Defy Four-Year Slump $$$ Best Buy shareholders caught in the crossfire [Term Sheet] $$$ FTC Clears Facebook’s Instagram Purchase [Deal Journal] $$$ "Bain is a financial firm, but Romney wasn’t some Wall Street bank-monkey with a pitch book. He was the guy who fired you." [National Review] [!!] $$$ Wharton-Bound Goat Trainer Failed To Get Her Pet Goat To Perform On National Television [IvyGate] $$$ A middle market private equity firm is looking for a senior associate in South Florida [DBCC] $$$ Bernanke ‘More Popular Than Justin Bieber’? [CNBC] $$$ Broken Brokerages: Finance Luminaries Join Fight Over Uniform Fiduciary Standard [NYO] $$$ Chinese acquisitions in US near record [FT] $$$ Obama Says First Dog Bo Is on a Diet [DI] $$$ Man Convicted of Assault for Punching McDonald’s Employee After Sundae Arrived with Hot Fudge on the Bottom [Gawker]