Attention Would-Be Thieves: Bridgewater Associates Take Their Buns Of Steel Tapes Very Seriously

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Last Friday afternoon, while many a financial services employee was dealing with the fallout of receiving a bonus they did not believe to be commensurate with the work they put in for 2011, Bridgewater was dealing with a far weightier issue. The hedge fund had a thief in its ranks and said thief's jig was up.

A Bridgeport woman who worked as a security guard in Westport was arrested Friday on a warrant for allegedly stealing from her workplace, police said. Katlyne Lauture, a former security guard at Bridgewater Associates, was spotted on camera in November taking an iPad out of an employee's desk and then leaving the building, police said. Lauture, 25, was later found to have taken two additional iPads and an exercise video set, all valued at approximately $2,724, police said. She was charged with third-degree larceny and released after posting a $10,000 bond. She is due in court on Jan. 30.

As you can clearly see, this incident raises many, many questions. Chief among them being that, as a security guard, Lauture of all people would have known of cameras that watched employees' every moves. Ergo, she couldn't possibly have thought she'd get away with the thefts and in fact, was perhaps actively attempting to get noticed? But why? Was she hoping to catch Mentor Dalio's eye, have him think to himself, "Look at the balls on this chick," and get promoted to PM? Also:

- Three fully-loaded, top of the line iPads would have totaled, at most, $2,487. And yet the exercise DVDs brought Lauture's haul to $2,724, meaning she stole at least more than $200 worth of videos and possibly as much as $600, assuming at least one of the iPad owners went with the $500 model?

- Who at Bridgewater is keeping workout videos-- let alone a fetish-level volume of videos-- at work?

- If she stole the tapes from multiple people, do Bridgewater employees do the routines together, after hours?

- Was this P90X?

- Is this woman dead to Ray, who holds truth and honesty above all else and who last year told the New Yorker that he'd embarked on an "intended weight-loss program"?

Ex-Westport Security Guard Charged With Theft [The Westport Daily]

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