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Bill Gross: Run For Your Lives

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As astute followers of PIMCO chief Bill Gross know, the bond manager often uses metaphors to explain various market behavior in his monthly Investment Outlook letter. In the past, he's told us about why US policy makers are basically praying mantises in that they'll bite your head off after sex, why this country is a patient waiting for a heart transplant, and why Congress reminds him a lot of Pepé Le Pew. Gross has also taken the opportunity to sprinkle in little personal details, including his pajama preference, his hatred for automatic flushers, a story about the time he acted like a cheap prick to a waitress ("A Gross family legend!"), and, of course, his inability to love the body god gave him. Most recently, Bill used the space to warn people that 2012 will be the year the markets will make you feel like lost your fucking mind.

The New Normal as PIMCO and other economists would describe it was a world of muted western growth, high unemployment and relatively orderly delevering. Now we appear to be morphing into a world with much fatter tails, bordering on bimodal. It’s as if the Earth now has two moons instead of one and both are growing in size like a cancerous tumor that may threaten the financial tides, oceans and economic life as we have known it for the past half century. Welcome to 2012...Goodbye “Old Normal,” standby to redefine “New Normal,” and welcome to 2012’s “paranormal.”

Related, not everyone is a fan of BG's latest piece, like this guy, who read the CliffsNotes on Reuters:

Towards The Paranormal [PIMCO]
Gross predicts "paranormal" market activity in 2012 [Reuters]