It would probably be safe to say that many of you came back to work today with one thought on your mind: this year's bonus for last year's work and, to that end, the hope that it would include at least 6 zeros. Here's the rub: your firm may or may not have made any money last year. What's a financial services employee expectingzilchto do? If you've ruled out resigning yourself to taking up the tailpipe or missed your chance to rob a Wells Fargo practically begging for it, the question you need ask yourself is, which is more important to you-- money in the bank, or Mr. Fluffernuterbojangles Jr, who you've had since college?
If you're on the fence about whether or not you'd kill your favorite pet for a buck,** or feel some level of shame for wanting to say yes, take solace-- according to a recent poll, more than 10 percent of Americans would gladly murder their furry friend or parakeet for $1 million (granted, $1 million is nowhere near life changing money but it's preferable to earning nada). Now, if you answered no, then 1) how much would it take and 2) if there's no price at which you'd put a bullet in Flipper's head then what sort of things would you do for the money? Surely you have a list.
The February 2012 60 Minutes/Vanity Fair Poll [Vanity Fair]
**For the purposes of this exercise, let's assume everyone here works for a firm that would make you such an offer, which may or may not be so far off-base.