$$$ Julius Baer to buy Merrill Lynch arm [FT] $$$ Groupon Shares Fall 14% on Slower Growth [WSJ] $$$ "Finally, and contrary to popular belief, [shadow] banking increases transparency and disclosure because banks now sell assets that would otherwise be hosted on their opaque balance sheets." [St. Louis Fed] $$$ Skepticism about proposed Libor fixes [Sober Look] $$$ Meet Chick-Felays, the Tiny Canadian Restaurant That Wants You to Know It Has No Opinion on Marriage Equality [Grub Street] $$$ Aboard his campaign plane Friday evening, Romney told reporters: “Bus tour, it’s great! It’s great to be out campaigning. . . . Campaigning is the most fun, is the most enjoyable and rewarding.” Romney then clapped his hands and returned to his seat at the front of the plane. “Back to my yogurt,” he said. [WaPo via Unfogged] $$$ T. Rowe Price is looking for an assistant corporate secretary, if you're interested [DBCC] $$$ Earnings report articles are kinda pointless [Reuters / Felix Salmon] $$$ The Wall Street Journal is pretty pleased with its Olympic forecasting [WSJ] $$$ ‘Fierce Five’ Gymnasts Face Hurdle In Landing Nickname Trademark [Bloomberg] $$$ "What does it mean that, say, David Koch could double each half of the GOP ticket’s net worth by giving Romney one-hundredth of his fortune, or giving Ryan one five-thousandth of his fortune?" [Concurring Opinions] $$$ HuffPost Live Presents John Cusack’s Rambling Thoughts On The Mortgage Crisis [NYO]

$$$ Spain reveals €100bn capital flight [FT] $$$ Spain Says It Has Months to Raise Bank-Bailout Funds [WSJ] $$$ Market Braces for What Could Be Another Weak Jobs Report [CNBC] $$$ Goldman’s Cohn Warns Of Poaching Risks From Further Cuts [Bloomberg] $$$ Larry Fink's hedge-fund-manager son Josh isn't having a great time of it [AR-Alpha] $$$ "T. Boone Pickens, who apparently follows Drake on Twitter, sure isn't [impressed], replying 'The first billion is a helluva lot harder' with a mic-drop retweet." [Gizmodo] $$$ RAND Corporation is looking for a business analyst in Santa Monica [DBCC] $$$ Blankfein Expected to Testify at Gupta Trial [WSJ] $$$ JPMorgan CIO Swaps Pricing Said to Differ From Bank [Bloomberg] $$$ Felix Salmon is in a fight with a startup that has "has the best part of $300,000 in interest-free financing repayable at a time of its choosing in underwear." [Reuters] $$$ "'They signed off on their messages with LOL — laughing out loud,' Police Commissioner Ray Kelly said. 'Well, there was a person who was laughing out loud. That was Police Officer Michael Rodrigues of the 77th Precinct.'" [NYP] $$$ Try "the Douche Burger, a $666 edible fiscal disaster that piles caviar, lobster & truffles on top of a foie-stuffed, gold-leaf-wrapped Kobe patty, smothers it with Gruyere melted with Champagne steam, and finishes it off with BBQ sauce made using Kopi Luwak coffee that's passed through the digestive tract of the Asian Palm Civet, explaining why it 'may not taste good, but will make you feel rich as f*ck.'" [Thrillist via Copyranter]

$$$ Central banks ready to combat Greek market storm [Reuters] $$$ Things to know about the London Whale and capital models [DEM] $$$ Things to know about TARGET2 balances [Felix Salmon] $$$ Things to know about EFSF and ESM leverage and guarantees [TF] $$$ Here is a behavioral economics paper with the keywords "anti-social behaviour, nastiness, money-burning" [Universitat Jaume via Robin Hanson] $$$ "I have been a judge in the Miss Universe pageant three times, and I assure you it is not fixed. Even though Donald Trump made it very clear to us whom he would vote for, I always voted my conscience. ... I voted for the contestant I thought was the most beautiful." [The Daily] $$$ You should really think about becoming a credit analyst for BNP Paribas in New York [DBCC] $$$ Quest Software Brings in Competing Bid Using Clever Corporate Engineering [Dealpolitik] $$$ Maiden Lane Loans Repaid, but Assets Still Need to Be Sold [DealBook] $$$ Ray Dalio Is Building a Baseball Card Collection [NYM] $$$ The Nobel Foundation lost some money in the stock market [Fortune] $$$ Man Who Saved Mouse from Being Eaten By Cat Catches Black Plague [Gawker]

$$$ S&P 500 Breaks Record [WSJ] $$$ M&A Stumbles Amid March Deal Drought [Bloomberg] $$$ An interview with Athanasios Orphanides: What happened in Cyprus [Economist] $$$ Sarkozy: from the Elysée to private equity [FT] $$$ Embattled DOE-Grant Recipient Changes Name from A123 to B456 [WFB] $$$ Posting will be light tomorrow for Good Friday. Enjoy the holiday; we'll see you back here on Monday. $$$ Dell paying Blackstone's bills [Fortune] $$$ Investors sue RBS over 2008 rights issue [FT] $$$ REITs Trigger Fed Warning as Kain Tops $100 Billion [Bloomberg] $$$ Citi Sails Back Into 'Synthetic' Securities [WSJ] $$$ New York Is ‘By Far the Least Free State’ in America, According to Some People [DI] $$$ THE OTHER SIDE OF THE GITMO STRIKE: Detainees Are Treated Absurdly Well Compared To Business Insider Reporters [BI]