Confidential To Denizens Of Wall Street North: This Is Not The Way Take 2012 Compensation Into Your Own Hands

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Updated:: Jan 14, 2019
Original:: Feb 13, 2012

A Stamford man was robbed early Sunday morning when he told police an unknown suspect put a chemical-soaked rag over the man's face and knocked him unconscious. The East Side resident told police he was walking home from his grandmother's home at about 3:30 a.m. when a group of people came up from behind him near the corner of Fairfield Avenue and Selleck Street. According to Stamford Police Sgt. Paul Guzda, the man told police one of the people put the rag over his mouth and nose. Just before the man passed out, the man told police he could smell a chemical. An hour later, the man woke up and realized that he was missing some personal items, Guzda said...The man said he did not see the assailants and did not know what he had been drugged with, Guzda said. Police are investigating the incident. [Stamford Advocate]

It's often been said, in profiles, conversations, and the like, that Andrew Ross Sorkin is the hardest working man in America, juggling several jobs at any given time. Up until now, the ones we knew about were 1) Dealbook editor 2) Squawk Box host and 3) author. Today we've learned of yet another title he holds: (self-described) Human Garbage Disposal. "If food is in front of me, I have to eat it," Sorkin told Grub Street, while taking part in its "New York Diet" series, an accounting of one person's food intake over a given week. From March 2 to March 7 we get to see ARS's appetite in action, destroying everything in its wake. Yogurt (Fage peach), his children's chicken nuggets, Chinese food, coffee ice-cream, tomato soup, mushroom soup, peanut butter brownies, turkey sandwiches, margaritas, Red Bull, oysters, Muscle Milk, pretzels, steak, salmon, Chirpin' Chicken, sweet-potato fries. It's actually quite mesmerizing. And that's just what he consumes for sustenance. Here's what he goes weak in the knees for. Anything that came out of a deep-fryer: "...we ended up at Five Points where I had two spicy margaritas and ruined [my] workout within in twenty minutes. I also had a spinach salad, rockfish, and a chocolate brioche bread pudding and apple crisp to die for. Give me anything baked or fried and ... forget it. Donuts, Glazed: "All is well in the world, until someone brings Dunkin' Donuts to theTimes office. No will power around glazed doughnuts. I could eat a whole table of them. They're classic and timeless, without being too sugary and complicated." Bread pudding, which he'll eat off the plate of a source: "In between MSNBC and the Times, I went to lunch with two venture capitalists at Michael's. Their choice, not mine. I like it there because that's how people know you haven't died yet. Ate salmon with mustard and sorbet for dessert. Okay, the venture capitalists offered me some bread pudding, and I got all in on that, too." His Stacey's Pita Chips. Do not get him started.: "Now I really go off the rails at home. It starts with a glass of red wine and half a bag of Stacey Chips. Then I eat more, but with hummus. They're the greatest chips in the history of all chips. When I was writing my book three years ago, I'd go to a bodega at eleven o'clock at night for a liter of Diet Coke, a couple beers, and my Stacey Chips." Andrew Ross Sorkin Will Eat Anything You Feed Him, Especially If It Is Baked or Fried [Grub Street]

Remember Occupy Wall Street? After being evicted from its Zuccotti Park global headquarters in Lower Manhattan last year the group seemed to loose a bit of steam but has vowed a resurgence, starting with a May 1 "spring offensive." Protests have been planned in 115 cities where "the financial elite play and plan," including the midtown offices of JPMorgan and Bank of America. Worried your place of business or home might be the target of some uninvited guests and/or a surly gigantic check? Then you might want to get in touch with your fellow prey and start strategizing. Planning for May 1 in New York began in January in a fourth-floor workspace at 16 Beaver St., about two blocks from Wall Street, according to Holmes. The date serves as an international labor day, commemorating a deadly 1886 clash between police and workers in Chicago’s Haymarket Square. The midtown demonstrations will take place from 8 a.m. to 2 p.m., followed by a march from Bryant Park to Union Square and a 4 p.m. rally there, according to an online schedule. Protesters, including labor unions and community groups, have a permit to march from Union Square to lower Manhattan, according to police. Goldman Sachs Group’s headquarters is among financial- district picketing options, Holmes said. Brian McNary, director of global risk at Pinkerton Consulting & Investigations, a subsidiary of Sweden’s Securitas AB works with international financial firms to “identify, map and track” protesters across social media and at their assemblies, he said. The companies gather data “carefully and methodically” to prevent business disruptions. Banks are preparing for Occupy demonstrations at the North Atlantic Treaty Organization’s Chicago summit on May 20 and 21 by sharing information from video surveillance, robots and officers in buildings, giving “a real-time, 360-degree” view, said McNary, who works on the project. Banks cooperating on surveillance are like elk fending off wolves in Yellowstone National Park, he said. While other animals try in vain to sprint away alone, elk survive attacks by forming a ring together, he said. As for what to do in the interim, pre-attack by wolf pack, lock it up. You're not doing anything. You're not teaming up with other elks, you haven't even heard about the demonstrations. What is Occupy Wall Street? Sayeth Mcnary, “When you portray a position ofweakness, it invites attack. [Banks] don’t want to provide the perception that they’re hunkering down behind their bulwarks and putting up big walls.” Wall Street Tracks ‘Wolves’ as May 1 Protests Loom [Bloomberg]

Random poll: is the guy or girl who sits next do you at work a) forgoing a chair and instead squatting in front of his/her computer b) doing lunges and push-ups behind you or c) breathing alarmingly heavily and sweating profusely post-deskside workout in which he or she shouted things like "Market's going up! Heart rate's going up!"? If you answered no to all of the above, your office is apparently miles behind the curve. According to a segment aired on Bloomberg TV earlier this morning, everyone on Wall Street is working out on the job. And not, say, in the office gym but on the floor, in the middle of the trading day, between rows, grunting and panting like no one is watching. Supposedly this twenty minute workout has a name (JCore) and if you're worried about the effectiveness, don't be: the guy who pioneered this thing practically has a heart attack during the demo so it must be working. To the skeptical bastards who would suggest no one besides the people featured in the story are actually doing this, you're not alone: back in the studio a fellow anchor nearly blows everything by questioning if there are actually people who would get drenched in the middle of the day while yelling things like "You're shooting me, you're shooting your fat" in view of colleagues but nevermind you that. The Workout Taking Over Wall Street [Bloomberg TV via BI]

And in fact got a nice li'l bump in pay last year.