How To Get Yourself To A Place Where Taking Down Your Fund With One Trade Will Be NBD

Spend any amount of time working on Wall Street and you will soon learn that opportunities for stress abound, whether you're a first -year analyst getting reamed out for an extra space in a pitchbook or a hedge fund manager who just lost $1.2 billion in a matter of minutes. Those who are unable to manage the stress either 1) flame out or 2) become fat, irritable pricks whose change of having a heart attack on the job are high. Presumably, neither of those options sound appealing. But since the terms of the gig aren't changing, what's a ball of nerves like you to do? You might consider risking having the skin burned off your feet, or other such activities. According to Cornell professor Tony Simons, things like a 10,000 point drop in the Dow or seeing a headline flash across Bloomberg that your firm is being indicted-- things that you have no control over- become a lot less scary and cause for flipping out when you've been through worse. For instance, at the workshops and corporate training classes he teaches, Simons will have people do exercises like"firewalks" or have them "snap an arrow that sticks out of a wall with the point in the direction of their neck, by stepping forward and pushing into it." After that, dealing with stuff you previously thought was tough is pretty easy (sayeth one participant: "facing a loved one’s anger and negativity with calm, loving courage and not ducking away from it feels easier after breaking an arrow with the soft part of my throat"). One woman is reportedly planning to "get a firewalk tattoo to remind her of what she’s accomplished." For any employers out there thinking putting on their own Simons-esque workshop but desiring even better results, consider gathering up your employees and having them: * Commit to rollerblading down the Westside Highway to work for a year * Catch a bullet in their teeth * Go through the browser history of everyone at the SEC (no averting of eyes) * Play Spin the Bottle with Rick Santelli's favorite floor traders * Scale the Empire State Building without safety gear * Defend their position why HIG shouldn't spin off its property business to John Paulson on your company's internal sqawk box * Other
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Spend any amount of time working on Wall Street and you will soon learn that opportunities for stress abound, whether you're a first -year analyst getting reamed out for an extra space in a pitchbook or a hedge fund manager who just lost $1.2 billion in a matter of minutes. Those who are unable to manage the stress either 1) flame out or 2) become fat, irritable pricks whose change of having a heart attack on the job are high. Presumably, neither of those options sound appealing. But since the terms of the gig aren't changing, what's a ball of nerves like you to do? You might consider risking having the skin burned off your feet, or other such activities.

According to Cornell professor Tony Simons, things like a 10,000 point drop in the Dow or seeing a headline flash across Bloomberg that your firm is being indicted-- things that you have no control over- become a lot less scary and cause for flipping out when you've been through worse. For instance, at the workshops and corporate training classes he teaches, Simons will have people do exercises like"firewalks" or have them "snap an arrow that sticks out of a wall with the point in the direction of their neck, by stepping forward and pushing into it." After that, dealing with stuff you previously thought was tough is pretty easy (sayeth one participant: "facing a loved one’s anger and negativity with calm, loving courage and not ducking away from it feels easier after breaking an arrow with the soft part of my throat"). One woman is reportedly planning to "get a firewalk tattoo to remind her of what she’s accomplished."

For any employers out there thinking putting on their own Simons-esque workshop but desiring even better results, consider gathering up your employees and having them:

* Commit to rollerblading down the Westside Highway to work for a year
* Catch a bullet in their teeth
* Play Spin the Bottle with Rick Santelli's favorite floor traders
* Go through the browser history of everyone at the SEC (no averting of eyes)
* Get caught on tape letting Hank Paulson's parakeet out of its cage
* Change the bed sheets of a certain NYU economics professor after a long weekend
* Other

Team Building Exercises: Learning To Walk On Fire [CNBC]

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As you may have heard, Third Point Management is currently waging a proxy battle against Yahoo, of which it owns 5.81 percent. Last September, the hedge fund and its founder, Dan Loeb, wrote a letter to the company's board of directors entitled "The Failures of Yahoo’s Board of Directors Necessitate a Significant Infusion of Fresh Board Talent," in November it demanded two board seats in order to rest the ship from a bunch of bumbling incompetents, and in February, it said actually, make that four seats. Unfortunately, Yahoo resisted. Which is why yesterday, Loeb and Third Point were forced to enter into the record some damning evidence showing current YHOO CEO Scott Thompson to be a dangerous, dangerous liar, the likes of which the search engine would be wise to sever ties. Specifically, Third Point revealed that contrary to statements made on SEC filings, Thompson? Did not graduate from Stonehill College with degrees in both computer science and accounting but only the latter. 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