Is There A Horse Semen Pie In Brian Moynihan's Future?

Author:
Publish date:
Updated on

In the freezing rain a few yards away from Bank of America's New York headquarters on 42nd Street, the man who made America see Goldman Sachs as a "vampire squid" was describing his research on a forthcoming article. "I called up my source and told him that I wanted to highlight all the really bad things Bank of America has done, and he said, 'What, do you have 1,000 pages?'" Matt Taibbi was speaking to a group of Occupy Wall Street protesters about BoA's central role causing the still-reverberating mortgage crisis, and explained the bank's crimes thusly: "Mortgage backed securities are like banks selling oregano as weed. And that's exactly what Bank of America was doing." [Gothamist, Related: "Taibbi rushed in unannounced and, by way of congratulations, slammed a pie in his face. The pie was made with fresh vanilla cream, hand-puréed strawberry, and five ounces of horse semen"]

Related

Brian Moynihan Is Walking On Sunshine

The BofA chief is pretty much having the best day ever. Not to get ahead of ourselves, but his IT guys are THISCLOSE to registering www.brianmoynihnanDOESNTsuck.com before one of his fans can.

Brian Moynihan Has Total Confidence In Jamie Dimon

He's got this. JPMorgan Chase Chief Executive Officer Jamie Dimon has the experience needed to manage the fallout from trading losses, and market disruptions haven’t been serious, Bank of America CEO Brian T. Moynihan said today. Trading didn’t freeze and markets behaved “reasonably well” given the circumstances after Dimon disclosed at least $2 billion in trading losses at JPMorgan’s chief investment office, Moynihan said today at a Manhattan investor conference. Dimon has shown he’s got the skills to handle the affair, said Moynihan, whose Charlotte, North Carolina-based bank ranks second by assets behind New York-based JPMorgan. [Bloomberg]