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Someone Is Running Around Newport Beach Pulling Bill Gross's Signature Move

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As many of you know, PIMCO chief Bill Gross is fond of weaving life stories throughout his monthly investor letters. One of his favorites, and a "Gross family legend," was featured in a March 2011 correspondence entitled "Two Bits Four Bits Six Bits A Dollar." It is the tale of the time he gave a waitress "negative tip," noting on a napkin: “Thanks for the shitty owe me 25 cents.” So, clearly, acting like a cheap prick to waitresses is kind Gross's thing, as indicated by the fact that he proudly wrote about it in a note disseminated to thousands. Which is why it distresses us to report that someone has not only been flagrantly stealing BG's move but doing so in on his own turf. Examine the evidence with us.

Earlier today, Eater shared the following photo, snapped by a diner whose boss left a waitress at True Food Kitchen a rather Gross-esque tip:

Not only does this guy leave shitty gratuity and add his little bit of constructive criticism, just as Bill is wont to do but he does so at a restaurant that 1) is located 0.8 miles from PIMCO's Newport Beach headquarters and 2) is a place PIMCO employees "regularly" dine, according to a representative of the eatery we spoke with this afternoon. To say nothing of the fact that he signs the bill in such a matter that the first letter could be easily interpreted as a 'B.'

So the balls on this one are big and the only question left at this time is did he fuck Gross's wife while he was at it, too? Because it seems obvious he might've.

Rich Jerk Tips 1% and Advises Server to 'Get a Real Job' [Eater]
Lunch With My Generous Boss [FEB]
Related: Bill Gross Tells Investors About The Time He Acted Like A Cheap Prick To A Waitress


Bill Gross's Mustache Is Never Coming Back

Has there ever been a person in your life you didn't realize how much meant to you 'til they were gone? Who you would have treated better if you'd known your final day with was your last? Who you would have begged to stay? Who you assumed would be back eventually but as the weeks, months, and years crept on forced you to come to the hard realization that the next and only time you'd see them would be in your dreams, because they were never coming back? Whose permanent absence, once finally accepted it, hit you like a ton of bricks? Then you know how people involved with Bill Gross's Mustache feel today. Once a daily presence on the PIMCO manager's face, the BGM went away for a while but it was assumed not for good because how could that be? Why would that be? It felt impossible. Then this happened: Bloomberg's Tom Keene: When does the mustache come back? Gross: Never. My wife has finally adjusted, so it's not coming back. If you never got to say a proper good-bye, if you would have done things differently, if you feel like the wind's been knocked out of you, if you can't bear the thought of being alone tonight, join us as we light a candle in memoriam. Bill Gross's mustache in deep contemplation Bill Gross's mustache in an insane asylum Bill Gross's mustache mustache so stoned it can't feel its face Bill Gross's angry mustache! Bill Gross's suicidal mustache Bill Gross's mustache undressing you with its mind ... Pimco's Gross on Financial Repression, ETF, Greece [Bloomberg]