Write-Offs: 02.09.12

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$$$Greeks clinch austerity deal, lenders skeptical

$$$House Votes to Tighten Insider-Trading Ban for Congress [Bloomberg]

$$$Whitney Tilson is up 12.6% YTD [ValueWalk]

$$$Goldman Retained Almost All of Fed’s Mortgage Bonds [Bloomberg]

$$$ Ace sleuth debunks GS elevator Twitter feed [Big Picture]

$$$Important announcement: We are aware of "the awful cover letter all of Wall Street is laughing about." We wrote about it three days ago. Eight thousand of you have sent it to us since, which means you are not reading Dealbreaker carefully enough.

$$$Lehman Sues Citi for $2.5 Billion Over Transfers [WSJ]

$$$Dealpolitik: Filing by Illumina Highlights Complex Relationship With Goldman [Deal Journal]

$$$How To Raise Capital: tweak the model [Alea]

$$$Actual Wall Streeters Respond to Matchmaker’s Tips for Dating Them: “Hey girl! I hope you like Rolex watches and no eye contact during sex!” [Atlantic Wire]

$$$How to Date a Wall Street Man (Continued): Coat yourself in dragon’s blood. Hang a shroud over every mirror in the palace. Research the latest wine-storage innovations and stare at the gathering clouds on the horizon. Fondle the unused cufflinks. Bring home something from the butcher that still appears animal. With this app you can track the compound interest on your savings in real time. Drown your suspicions with heavy doses of Pilates and rooftop gardening, and be thankful for everything you’ve achieved. [Jacobin]

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Write-Offs: 08.03.12

$$$ U.S. To Sell $4.5 Billion In AIG Stock In Public Offering [Bloomberg] $$$ Hiring Climbs but Jobless Rate Ticks Up [WSJ] $$$ Bloomberg wants to develop a Libor alternative and call it Blibor [WSJ] $$$ What's the Exxon Valdez up to these days? [Bloomberg] $$$ "I think there's just something about getting into chlorine water that you just automatically go." - Ryan Lochte [AP] $$$ An investing bank is looking for a Ph.D. quant for their derivatives modeling team, if that's of interest [DBCC] $$$ Or consider supporting a second edition of Doug Henwood's book Wall Street, "the best leftwing book on actually-existing-capitalism that’s been written in the last couple of decades," if that's more your thing [Crooked Timber] $$$ Financial weapons of mass irony [Reuters] $$$ Futures are swaps in reality but not in regulatory arbitrage [Streetwise Professor] $$$ Mustaches keep you safe from radiation [WaPo]

Write-Offs: 07.30.12

$$$ ECB thinks the unthinkable, action likely weeks away [Reuters] $$$ Private equity assets hit record $3tn [FT] $$$ Economy Tests Harvard [WSJ] $$$ Guy seeks attention by pretending he manipulated Libor [Boston Review, related] $$$ Chivalry On Sinking Ships Only A Myth, Researchers Find [Bloomberg] $$$ Macquarie Research is looking for a REIT research associate in New York [DBCC] $$$ A Berlusconi Comeback Is Last Thing Italy Needs [Bloomberg] $$$ Here you will find a Fox Business segment on The Decathlon featuring an NBA vs. Wall Street vertical jump contest [FBN] $$$ Here you will find an argument for replacing the uncomfortable business metaphor "opening the kimono" with "putting a ruler to the dick" [Mathbabe] $$$ "Many scientists don’t like to talk about shark sex," but some do [LRB]