$$$ Osborne lobbies Geithner on StanChart [FT] $$$ Carlyle to Acquire Asset Manager TCW From SocGen [WSJ] $$$ Goldman Cleared in Mortgage Investigation [DealBook] $$$ Manchester United prices IPO below range, valuing club at $2.3 billion [Reuters] $$$ DC Man Orders TV From Amazon, Gets Assault Rifle Instead [USAT] $$$ A New York boutique firm is looking for a special situation analyst to analyze its special situations [DBCC] $$$ Yahoo May Reverse Alibaba Cash Plans [WSJ] $$$ Chesapeake Energy in U.S. antitrust probe [Reuters] $$$ U.S. Text Messaging Champion Is $50,000 Richer [BW] $$$ Naked Man Covered in Crisco Told Police He was ‘Looking for a Place to Party’ [Gawker]

Preet Bharara's no good very bad day; Winklevii bitcoin exchange comin' at ya; Twitter; "A Japanese man live-streaming his video game session online purportedly set fire to his apartment by accident as his webcam continued to broadcast"; and more.

$$$ Mitt Romney overpays his taxes, is rich [WaPo] $$$ Goldman Sachs is rolling out a hedge fund investing platform [Reuters] $$$ The ECB's pretend-you're-a-central-banker online game has a single mandate [Economist] $$$ SEC Said to Scrutinize Private Equity on Share of Payout [Bloomberg] $$$ Kato Kaelin Has a 'Gut Feeling' O.J. Simpson Was Guilty of Double Murder [ABC] $$$ BoNY Mellon is looking for a wealth management senior sales director in Greenwich [DBCC] $$$ EU in talks over Spanish rescue plan [FT] $$$ California found some more debt that it owes [NYT] $$$ Behind the Scenes, Some Lawmakers Lobby to Change the Volcker Rule [DealBook] $$$ Bank of America Is Now Stealing From Child Actors, Allegedly [Gawker]

$$$ Crédit Agricole Posts Record Loss After Greek Sale [WSJ] $$$ Dimon: America Still The Best There Is [CNBC] $$$ Regulators Postpone Some Basel Rules [DealBook] $$$ Jury Is Told Ex-UBS Trader Was Made a Scapegoat for Bank’s Woes [DealBook] $$$ U.S. judge insists Argentina must pay holdout creditors [Reuters] $$$ Charles Darwin Gets 4,000 Votes in Georgia Congressional Race [DI] $$$ The SEC is looking a financial economist in the Division of Risk, Strategy, and Financial Innovation, Office of Risk Assessment and Interactive Data in DC [DBCC] $$$ Exec Who Allegedly Enabled Fraud Runs Chase’s Effort to Compensate Foreclosure Victims [ProPublica] $$$ A Run on Groupon’s Shares as Growth Slows Again [DealBook] $$$ Judge: Kodak Didn’t Mislead Market By Keeping Mum on Bankruptcy Prep [Deal Journal] $$$ "The IMF, on the other hand, is an old hand at bailouts and has learned a lot of expensive lessons. It isn’t willing to throw money into Greece without an actual, credible plan, as opposed to the tissue of optimistic assumptions and politically conditioned forecasts that the EU habitually uses to disguise the true state of affairs from itself and the voters." [Via Meadia] $$$ A trip to outer space (that will "qualify you as an official astronaut") — for just $95,000 [MW]

$$$ Jack Lew sworn in as Treasury secretary [Reuters] $$$ JPMorgan CEO Dimon: 'We Need a Big Plan' [FBN] $$$ Hedge fund in 'Whale' trade tried to poach JPM employees [Reuters] $$$ JPMorgan Traders Lost on 41 Days as ‘London Whale’ Unwinds [Bloomberg] $$$ "After four and a half intense and wonderful years as CEO of Groupon, I've decided that I'd like to spend more time with my family. Just kidding - I was fired today." [CT] $$$ Telepathic rats solve problems together [FT] $$$ A major investment bank is looking for a sector coverage head for Food/Consumer/Retail commercial banking [DBCC] $$$ Bank of China Eyes Expansion Into U.S. Securitization [WSJ] $$$ US watchdog set to weaken derivatives rules [FT] $$$ Girls Gone Wild is bankrupt [NetNet / John Carney] $$$ Regional jets really suck [WSJ] $$$ Maxine Waters: 'Over 170 Million Jobs Could Be Lost' Due To Sequestration [YouTube]

$$$ Germany, Netherlands Rating Outlooks Cut To Negative By Moody’s [Bloomberg] $$$ Congress Presses New York Fed for More Details on Rate-Rigging Scandal [DealBook] $$$ China bids $15bn for Canada’s Nexen [FT] $$$ John Paulson Said To See 50% Chance That Euro Will Fail $$$ Bane's Plan to Bankrupt Batman Doesn't Make Any Sense [The Atlantic] $$$ A top bank is looking for a consumer/food sector M&A vice president or senior associate [DBCC] $$$ Citigroup Chairman O'Neill Takes Hands-On Approach [WSJ] $$$ An Ackman Protégé Plans to Strike Out on His Own [DealBook] $$$ Apple is a champion of planned obsolescence [Reuters] $$$ Snoop Dogg to Release Reggae Album as Snoop Lion [Gawker]

Jefferies reports losses; RBS plans cuts; Short who got Valeant right on trial; Drunken circus worker takes tiger cub for a walk at shopping mall; and more.

$$$ Markets Cheer Europe Plan, Await Details [WSJ] $$$ Merkel Secures Vote for Euro Treaties [Der Spiegel] $$$ Icahn Takes Aim at Forest Lab’s Succession Plan [DealBook] $$$ Area man has no name, big idea: don't let poor people vote [NetNet / John Carney] $$$ [Mike Tyson] raised a few eyebrows when he tweeted: "Holyfield's ear would've been much better with his new BBQ sauce." Holyfield had used the social media forum to promote his new Real Deal BBQ Sauce on Twitter earlier in the day. "My realdealbbqsauce.com will make you take a bite out of someone's ear! Ask Mike Tyson – Luv ya bro!" [NYDN] $$$ Citi's alternative asset management platform Citi Capital Advisors is looking for an associate-level research analyst for its event-driven fund [DBCC] $$$ Counterparties feel effect of bank downgrades [FT] $$$ AB InBev, Modelo in $20.1 Billion Deal [WSJ] $$$ RIM’s Plunge Adds Pressure To ‘Sell, Break Up Or Die’ [Bloomberg] $$$ Gary Maggetti, general manager of food and beverage at [Disney theme park] California Adventure, says the chili cones are part of an effort by the world’s largest theme park operator to create dining options as special as its rides. Consumers, he says, are looking for “signature items that create unique food memories.” [BW]