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Write-Offs: 02.23.12

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$$$Commerzbank CEO Slams Greek Bond Deal [WSJ]

$$$Blueprint for China to open up markets [FT]

$$$AIG posts huge 4th-quarter profit on tax benefit [Reuters]

$$$Berkshire Struggles With Being Ignored [WSJ]

$$$ UVA Murder Verdict Will Embolden Victims. Of murder? [Bloomberg]

$$$You have to go up the escalator or stairs. And across this walkway. And then down another flight of stairs. Then you're on the ground. Then you keep walking until you come to the door. Then you open the door. Then you cross the lobby. And then to the elevator. You have to go up to your floor in the elevator. Then you have to walk to your desk. Then you sit down in your chair. And then turn on your computer. And then open a web browser. And then navigate to Business Insider. And then you come to the worst part of this route. [BI]

$$$ Lloyd Blankfein should stay on as Goldman chairman to keep an eye on Gary Cohn [Breaking Views]

$$$Facebook's Top Cop: Joe Sullivan [Forbes]

$$$McDonald's to Offer France the McBaguette [WSJ]

$$$Pong Beer Capitalizes Off Beer Pong Craze [CNBC]

$$$Tooth Market Collapses [The Awl]

$$$ Iman Shumpert was going to jump over Jeremy Lin on a couch in the NBA slam dunk contest [Deadspin]

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$$$ ECB thinks the unthinkable, action likely weeks away [Reuters] $$$ Private equity assets hit record $3tn [FT] $$$ Economy Tests Harvard [WSJ] $$$ Guy seeks attention by pretending he manipulated Libor [Boston Review, related] $$$ Chivalry On Sinking Ships Only A Myth, Researchers Find [Bloomberg] $$$ Macquarie Research is looking for a REIT research associate in New York [DBCC] $$$ A Berlusconi Comeback Is Last Thing Italy Needs [Bloomberg] $$$ Here you will find a Fox Business segment on The Decathlon featuring an NBA vs. Wall Street vertical jump contest [FBN] $$$ Here you will find an argument for replacing the uncomfortable business metaphor "opening the kimono" with "putting a ruler to the dick" [Mathbabe] $$$ "Many scientists don’t like to talk about shark sex," but some do [LRB]

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$$$ Clogged Credit Weighs on Fed Policy Makers [WSJ] $$$ Ex-Expert Network Consultant Pleads Guilty in Insider Case [WSJ] $$$ TCI is trying to guilt the FSA into forcing Lloyds to redeem TCI's holdings of Lloyds contingent capital bonds at above-market prices [FT] $$$ Homeowner Aid Boosts Big Banks [WSJ] $$$ World's population is 17 million tons overweight [MSNBC] $$$ Do you have plans on July 17? Do you fancy yourself a poker player? A really good poker player? Do you think you could beat David Einhorn, even if he’s working the table like it's Lehman Brothers circa 2007/2008? Do you think it would not be so awkward that the two of you could then enjoy a meal together and talk shop after which he picks up the tab? If David's not your thing, do you think you could envision yourself in the same scenario but with Bill Ackman? If you answered yes to most of the above and also consider yourself a fan of humanity, helping others and all that jazz, you should most definitely clear your schedule next Wednesday and sign up for a World Poker Tournament benefiting the Rewarding Achievement (REACH) program, which was co-founded by Bill Ackman and Whitney Tilson and gives inner-city high school students academic support and scholarships for passing AP exams. The event is taking place at Gotham Hall in New York and Einhorn (your competition) will be playing, as will Ackman and Tilson. Prizes for winners include the aforementioned meal (a lunch), with Bill, David or Seth Klarman, five nights at a “world-class private beach home in Lamu, Kenya,” a private poker lesson with 2011 WSOP bracelet winner and 2011 WPT Player of the Year, Andy Frankenberger and more. Alternatively, if you’re not one for cards but still want to help kids, you can also just register for the cocktail hour. $$$ Would you be interested in a job as a credit team director at a distressed-focused private equity firm in New York? What if I told you it's at Patriarch Partners? [DBCC, also available] $$$ Likelihood of Grexit Still 50-75%: Citi [CNBC] $$$ Alvarez Says Fed Hasn’t Seen Other JPMorgan Risk Problems [Bloomberg] $$$ Millionaire Parents Say Their Kids Are Unfit to Inherit [CNBC] $$$ New Jersey Man Allegedly Calls 911 From His Pillow Fort, Demands To Speak To Tim Tebow [DeadSpin]

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