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Write-Offs: 03.21.12

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$$$In stress tests, Fed may have inflated grades for TARP banks [Term Sheet]

$$$Goldman loses bid to dismiss Hudson CDO lawsuit [Reuters]

$$$Bulge bracket banks get bidders better mergers than lower tier banks [Journal of Finance via Free Exchange]

$$$ "My proudest moments in life — laying a plastic egg in Johannesberg, my LGTB teen awareness work with Bert, becoming Gonzo's 539th domestic partner — have all come through hard work, with no shortcuts. With its cheap efforts to turn Gen X parents misty with sentimentality, the Muppets just doesn’t feel right to me anymore. I'm no Chicken Little — if things don't change soon, the sky will indeed be falling." Why I Am Leaving the Muppets [The Awl]

$$$ Good with numbers? A top-tier investment bank is looking to hire five quants for a centralized research division [DBCC]

$$$ECB eyes exit for €40bn crisis fund [FT]

$$$Bernanke: Stress Tests Showed Banks Aren’t Hiding Potential Huge Losses [Real Time Economics]

$$$ "No longer do I arrive at my desk at the crack of dawn to mindlessly enter bond yields into a convoluted spreadsheet. No one tells me that my Banana Republic cardigan is too fashion-forward for the office. No longer does a superior tell me that I leave the desk to pee too many times during the day." Investment banking in Canada is different. [Globe & Mail]

$$$ Tim Tebow was traded to the Jets, maybe [NYP]

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$$$ A 'Corzine Rule' for Funds [WSJ] $$$ BofA Merrill Lynch prunes Canadian workforce [Financial Post] $$$ Fed Is Ready to Act if Europe Falters Again: Bernanke [Reuters] $$$ Chinese prison labor is making your internet gaming whatsits [Guardian] $$$ Surely everyone from Occupy Wall Street to Ron Paul will be convinced by this and we'll never hear about the gold standard again [BI] $$$ One person's Op-Ed is another's opportunity? A major investment bank is currently looking to expand its equity derivatives flow desk with a senior salesperson and a senior flow trader [DBCC] $$$ So long, BarCap [DealBook] $$$ BarCapJust Barclays thinks large European banks would have passed the US stress tests [DealBook] $$$ Santorum: "I don't care" about unemployment rate [Reuters] $$$ "Heand several colleagues were accused of selling unsuitable and overly risky investments. The case, regulatory records show, involved the stocks of Stearns & Lehman, a specialty food products company." That does sound risky. [NYT] $$$ "The only thing that Internet Explorer is good for at all is downloading other browsers." This is true, but watch this Microsoft commercial anyway. [Matt Yglesias / Slate]

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$$$ S.E.C. Acts on Suspicious Heinz Trading [DealBook] $$$ Facebook says target of sophisticated hacking attack [Reuters] $$$ Gleacher Won't Explore Merger for Now [WSJ] $$$ Berlusconi defends need for bribery [FT] $$$ "My grandkids always beat me at Rock Band. And I say, Listen, you may beat me at Rock Band, but I made the original records, so shut up." - Paul McCartney [Arts Beat] $$$ A multi-strategy hedge fund is looking for an FX quant/strategist in NY, Chicago or London [DBCC] $$$ Warren Buffett might buy some other companies, or he might not [Bloomberg] $$$ Warren Buffett’s Kind of Deal [DealBook] $$$ Dealpolitik: Heinz Deal Introduces a New Twist on Reverse Breakup Fees [Deal Journal] $$$ Could Dodd-Frank be unconstitutional? No? [Wonkblog] $$$ San Diego shocked by ex-mayor’s BILLION-dollar gambling losses [AP]

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$$$ Euro-Zone Leaders Step Up Greece Contingency Plans [WSJ] $$$ Facebook Banks Said To Make $100 Million On Stabilizing Stock [Bloomberg, earlier] $$$ The Modest Worth of Big Banks [NYT] $$$ Cardiff Garcia on Brad DeLong on Walter Bagehot [FTAV] $$$ "While we’re on the subject, we’d be remiss not to note that Mr. Muniyappa wore jeans and an untucked plaid button down, prompting New York Times legal eagle Peter Lattman to poll observers on the last time they’d seen a witness take the stand without a necktie. 'Maybe not at the trials The Times covers,' a wiseacre snapped." [NYO] $$$ Stress! An Energy Source Of The Future? [The Awl] $$$ "Representing the sovereign in these affairs is just more fun. It is a mixture of politics, finance and law, and theater," [sovereign restructuring lawyer Lee Buchheit] said. Buchheit recalled an Asian finance minister - referring to her only as "The Iron Lady" - resting a hand on his arm as tension mounted at 3 a.m. in a marathon meeting and saying: "I know you'll get us through this." [Reuters] $$$ UBS is looking for a credit stress testing analyst in Stamford [DBCC] $$$ China plans brokerage reforms to create its own Goldman Sachs [Reuters] $$$ In defense of private equity: Japan [Noahpinion] $$$ Romney Can’t Explain What He Learned in Business [DI] $$$ ALF Creator Paul Fusco Thinks ‘Timing is Right’ for an ALF Movie [Gawker]

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