$$$ Senate approves Lew as new Treasury chief [Reuters] $$$ J.C. Penney Posts Large Loss as Sales Sink Further [WSJ] $$$ Wall Street Junk Kings Selling Debt Poised to Lose Value [Bloomberg] $$$ Volcker Rule Could Be Delayed — Again [WSJ] $$$ Occupy the SEC is suing to force regulators to work faster on the Volcker Rule [Occupy the SEC] $$$ MBAs Assemble a Malm Bed from IKEA [YouTube / Wharton Follies] $$$ Citi Private Bank is looking for a senior taxable fixed income portfolio manager in Stamford [DBCC] $$$ Delaware Finds Reverse Triangular Mergers Aren't Assignments [Deal Lawyers] $$$ Calpers Claims Victory in Apple Vote That Didn’t Happen [Deal Journal] $$$ "If a bank's cost of funding went up idiosyncratically, the borrower got penalized. If a bank was suddenly considered a big credit risk, it's borrowers paid the premium." [NetNet / John Carney] $$$ 'Marijuana cannon' used to fire drugs over US border seized in Mexico [Guardian] $$$ Sallie Krawcheck: Going To An All-Girls School Was Tougher Than Working On Wall Street [The Jane Dough]

$$$ Goldman In Push On Volcker Limits [WSJ] $$$ Julius Baer May Cut More Than 1,000 Jobs After Merrill Deal [Bloomberg] $$$ Blackstone closes historic real estate fund on $13.3bn [PEI] $$$ Copenhagen IBOR has its own scandal [Macro Exposure, related] $$$ And State Street's Danish krone interest rate is negative 0.75% [Bloomberg] $$$ [Larry] Greenfield, who retired after a successful career at Opus Trading in Jericho, Long Island, says he would gladly trade his riches in exchange for finding a woman who meets his exacting standards: beautiful, thin, smart, Jewish, a sense of humor and from New York — but not an “alpha.” ... “I’m not a bad guy. I haven’t been to prison,” he said. “It’s just a very frustrating thing.” [NYP] $$$ Morgan Stanley is looking for a banking and cash management lawyer in Purchase, NY [DBCC] $$$ Imagine a country where challenging the ruling authorities — questioning, say, a piece of data released by central headquarters — would result in mobs of administration sympathizers claiming you should feel "embarrassed" and labeling you a fool, or worse. Soviet Russia perhaps? Communist China? Nope, that would be the United States right now, when a person (like me, for instance) suggests that a certain government datum (like the September unemployment rate of 7.8%) doesn't make sense. - Jack Welch [WSJ] $$$ Jack Welch ‘100%’ Right, Jobs Data Are Wrong: Trump [CNBC] $$$ The Private Equity Wizardry Behind Realogy’s Comeback [DealBook] $$$ "Savoring a long lunch after a morning tending to baby quince and pear trees, the French Senate's 78 gardeners are blissfully untouched by the economic crisis gnawing at Europe's core." $$$ Definitive Proof Rose And Jack Could Have Survived TOGETHER [BuzzFeed]

$$$ NGDP-targeting inventor Scott Sumner is celebrating [Money Illusion] $$$ The Fed will buy over half of all new agency MBS [Sober Look] $$$ Ray Dalio describes the machine [Free Exchange, CFR] $$$ Bank complexity makes Sally Krawcheck "weep blood out of [her] eyes" [DealBook] $$$ Greece to Lease 40 Uninhabited Islands to Reduce Debt [Bloomberg] $$$ Efficient Markets Theory Can Save You From A Grizzly Death By Botched Penile Enlargement [Slate] $$$ BlackRock is looking for a director of global mobility in San Francisco [DBCC] $$$ Deutsche Bank urges rivals to share IT [FT] $$$ Fairfax Case Against Morgan Keegan, Exis Dismissed [Bloomberg] $$$ The Volcker Rule's ban on short-term prop trading will prevent AIG from buying and holding long-term assets for some reason [DealBook] $$$ You only have six more months to buy giant sodas in New York City [NYT] $$$ "The Author in Fancy Dress as a Side of Bacon, designed by himself, which took the First Prize of Forty Guineas at the Covent Garden Fancy Dress Ball, April 1894." [Retronaut]

$$$ J.P. Morgan Suspends Share Buyback [WSJ] $$$ Bank of America's CEO 'Comfortable' With Investments [CNBC] $$$ Gupta ‘Threw Away His Duties,’ Prosecutor Says In Opening [Bloomberg] $$$ France, Germany Fail to Resolve Differences Over Euro Bonds [WSJ] $$$ U.S. lets China bypass Wall Street for Treasury orders [Reuters] $$$ MF Global's Corzine Got More Than $8 Million in Year Before Collapse [WSJ] $$$ S&P is looking for an associate to rate media and entertainment companies in Chicago - interested? [DBCC] $$$ "On average, for every additional 1% a company returned to shareholders between 2009 and 2011, the CEO was paid 0.6% more last year, the analysis found. For every 1% decline in shareholder return, the CEO was paid 0.6% less. ... In 2010, there was no correlation; for every 1% decrease in shareholder return, the average CEO was paid 0.02% more." [WSJ]$$$ Enron Ex-CEO Seeks Retrial On ‘New Evidence,’ Lawyer Says [Bloomberg] $$$ SEC move set to boost covered bonds in US [FT] $$$ With New Firepower, S.E.C. Tracks Bigger Game [DealBook] $$$ The New York Times printed a giant Gretchen Morgenson story about insider trading except there was no insider trading [Reuters / Felix Salmon, also Reformed Broker] $$$ Taxi Panel May Raise Fares Up to 20% [NYT] $$$ Gal claims she was 'too hot' to work in lingerie shop, forced to wear robe before getting boot: suit [NYP]

$$$ J.C. Penney Ousts Ron Johnson, Rehires Myron Ullman [WSJ] $$$ Capital markets: Is Citi the new golden child of Wall Street? [Euromoney] $$$ White Confirmed as SEC Chairman [WSJ] $$$ A.I.G. Seeks to Bar Greenberg From Suing U.S. on Its Behalf [DealBook] $$$ David Stockman's dystopia [Fortune] $$$ Wrestling’s Private Equity Champion [DealBook] $$$ Google Glass Already Being Banned from Strip Clubs [BetaBeat] $$$ The Fine Line Between Political Intelligence and Insider Trading [DealBook] $$$ Hedge Funds Wagering on Fannie Reincarnation [Bloomberg] $$$ As Deadline Looms, Few Companies Sign Up to Trade Swaps [WSJ] $$$ Costs of derivatives clearing stack up for buy-side [Reuters] $$$ Volcker: Central banks are too aggressive [CNN] $$$ Market Crash Likelihood Goes Up If Stocks Continue to Rally: Marc Faber [CNBC] $$$ Science proves women like men with bigger penises [NBC]

$$$ As His Fraud Trial Opens, Ex-UBS Trader Is Accused of Brazen Gambling [DealBook] $$$ Thanks, Goldman, for Giving My Peers Their Lives Back [Bloomberg] $$$ FDIC’s Hoenig Wants Simpler Rules Than Basel III [Deal Journal] $$$ Occupy Wall Street's one-year anniversary demonstrations start tomorrow [The Awl] $$$ Hard-money types talk too much about the gold standard, not enough about the bacon standard [CNBC] $$$ "I'm kind of a Snooki fan. Look how tiny's she's gotten. She's lost weight. She's energetic. Just her spark-plug personality is kind of fun." - Mitt Romney [DI] $$$ TIAA-CREF is looking for an insurance wholesaling director in Boston [DBCC] $$$ Miller Says U.S. Should Issue Simplified Volcker Rule [Bloomberg] $$$ Private equity needs more strategic deals [Term Sheet] $$$ Home Depot is leaving China, "where cheap labor has stunted the do-it-yourself ethos and apartment-based living leaves scarce demand for products like lumber" [WSJ] $$$ Allocating Risk Through Contract: Evidence from M&A and Policy Implications [Harvard Law] $$$ Naked German monk found wandering Bavarian forest after tripping on some bad berries [NYDN]

$$$ Fed Extends Twist, Signals Concerns [WSJ] $$$ Reasons to be sad about the Fed [Tim Duy] $$$ Berlusconi Casts Doubt on Austerity Plan [WSJ] $$$ Rompuy Blueprint Said To Include Options On Debt, Bank Oversight [Bloomberg] $$$ Standstills in Change of Control Transactions [HLS] $$$ With all words from Greek, Roman, Norse, etc. myths already taken, Peter Thiel named a fund after a metal from The Lord of the Rings [DI] $$$ A leading New York hedge fund is looking for a general counsel - could it be you? [DBCC] $$$ Regulators Back Off Tougher Curbs on Oil [WSJ] $$$ Ex-Orioles player Eddie Murray is part of insider trading inquiry [Reuters] $$$ The Mormon Madoff: How Shawn Merriman Scammed Millions $$$ NYSE CEO: Public Has Lost Trust inMarket [WSJ] $$$ Madam still stuck at Rikers [NYP]

$$$ Gold Sinks Into Bear Territory [WSJ] $$$ JPMorgan Switches Risk Model Again After Whale Loss [Bloomberg] $$$ US Senate scales back insider law [FT] $$$ Spain Eases Rules in Move Seen Helping Convicted CEO [WSJ] $$$ Ex-Credit Suisse trader pleads guilty in MBS case [Reuters] $$$ Mayo Tells Wells Fargo Execs Results ‘Stunk’ [Deal Journal] $$$ When options trading ahead of deals raises eyebrows [Reuters] $$$ Notes from the DoubleLine Lunch with Jeffrey Gundlach, Spring 2013 [Reformed Broker] $$$ Doubts over new CDS futures [IFR] $$$ High-Speed Trader Said to be Considered for SEC Post [Bloomberg] $$$ Billionaire Koch Wins $12 Million Verdict in Wine Trial [Bloomberg] $$$ Sarasota Man Steals Ten Cans Of Axe Deodorant From Publix Store, Assaults Security Guard, Broken Bicycle Chain Foils Getaway [Global Dispatch]